


Here Be Dragons

by katemiller



Series: Isn't She Beautiful? [7]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sherlolly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:02:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 41,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22369153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katemiller/pseuds/katemiller
Summary: Molly Hooper is happy. Undeniably, sun shine and rainbows, happy. Then Sherlock utters the name Charles Augustus Magnussen and her world goes spinning. She watches as her friend’s lives fall apart and she struggles to hold hers together.--The third major installment of the Isn’t She Beautiful series. Will parallel the events that take place starting in HLV, through season four, and past the end of the series. *CHAPTERS CONTAINING SMUT HAVE WARNINGS SO YOU CAN SKIP OVER THE SMUT IF YOU DESIRE*SAMFAs 2019/2020 Second Place Winner for Best Casefic (M/E rated)
Relationships: Mary Morstan/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper
Series: Isn't She Beautiful? [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/92761
Comments: 62
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own nor do I claim to have created the dialog that comes directly from the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short smutty scene at the beginning - skip paragraph in block quote

Prologue:

_MYCROFT: I’m glad you’ve given up on the Magnussen business.  
SHERLOCK: Are you?  
MYCROFT: I’m still curious, though. He’s hardly your usual kind of puzzle. Why do you..hate him?  
SHERLOCK : Because he attacks people who are different and preys on their secrets. Why don’t you?  
MYCROFT: He never causes too much damage to anyone important. He’s far too intelligent for that. He’s a business-man, that’s all, and occasionally useful to us. A necessary evil – not a dragon for you to slay.  
SHERLOCK: A dragon slayer. Is that what you think of me?  
MYCROFT: No…It’s what you think of yourself. _

_\---  
MYCROFT: I have, by the way, a job offer I should like you to decline.  
SHERLOCK: I decline your kind offer.  
MYCROFT: I shall pass on your regrets.  
SHERLOCK: What was it?  
MYCROFT: MI6 – they want to place you back into Eastern Europe. An undercover assignment that would prove fatal to you in, I think, about six months.  
SHERLOCK: Then why don’t you want me to take it?  
MYCROFT: It’s tempting ... but on balance you have more utility closer to home.  
SHERLOCK: Utility?! How do I have utility?  
MYCROFT: Here be dragons._

Sherlock smirked at his brother and took another long drag on his cigarette.

“Besides,” Mycroft said as he dropped his cigarette on the ground and treaded on it, “Your loss would break Molly and Mina’s hearts……and mine as well.” Sherlock choked on the smoke he had just inhaled and turned to his brother, a confused and doubtful look on his face. “You’re still my brother Sherlock and despite everything that has passed between us, I do…care for you.”

Sherlock squinted at his brother, trying to read him.

“Did Molly promise you something if you were nice today?” he asked skeptically. Mycroft smiled and gave a small shrug.

“Merry Christmas, Sherlock.”

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_“I shouldn’t have reacted that way – You deserve for me to be better than that. I will be better, for you and Mina.” Sherlock took Molly’s hand in his. “Don’t give up on me.”_

_“I won’t ever give up on you.” She kissed him hard. “I promise.” She smiled at him when she saw the look in his eyes – the love and security that was his promise to her. His promise that he would always be there for her and protect her and love her. His promise that he would take care of Mina no matter what and that nothing and no one would ever hurt her. The promise she would hold on to when things got hard and she struggled to keep her promise._

  * _With All My Heart, Chapter Five_



> “Mhmm!” Molly moaned as she dropped her head back, still supporting herself on her elbows. “Oh god! Yes!” She laced her fingers through Sherlock’s curls as he buried his face between her legs. “Oh Sherlock…yes!” He picked his head up and smiled at her.
> 
> “If you aren’t quieter, you’re going to wake Mina.” He leaned back down and bit her thigh, making her whimper. He gave her a devilish grin and returned to his ministrations. Molly fell flat on her back, biting her lip hard as she tried to keep herself quiet. The more he worked at her center the louder her moans and whimpers grew.
> 
> He knew she was close by the way she wiggled and clenched around his fingers. She protested when his fingers and lips left her skin but Sherlock quickly settled above her and gripped her hips tightly.
> 
> “Please,” she begged and he drove into her, his mouth swallowing her gasp. Within minutes Sherlock had her on the edge and falling apart in his hands, followed shortly by his own release. They stayed intertwined as they caught their breath and their heart rates slowed. “I love you,” she said as she peppered his chest with her kisses.
> 
> “I love you too,” he whispered to her as he tucked her head under his chin and feel asleep.

* * *

“Here baby.” Molly set a plate in front of Mina who gladly dug in. “Who is taking you to school today?”

“Can daddy?” Mina asked around a large bite of food.

“If he ever gets out of bed…SHERLOCK!” Molly hollered.

“Minute!” His muffled voice floated down the stairs. Molly and Mina looked at each other, a knowing smile on each of their faces – Sherlock was never ready on time.

Molly made herself a cup of tea and grabbed herself a plate of food just as Sherlock came trotting down the stairs.

“Morning Munchkin,” he said and kissed Mina on the head. “Mhm,” he hummed as he kissed Molly. “You smell delicious,” he whispered, making Molly’s cheeks heat.

“Daddy, can you take me to school today?” Mina asked as he walked around the peninsula. 

“Of course.” He looked at their plates and frowned. Molly smirked and pointed to the extra cuppa on the counter. “Thank you.”

“New case?” Molly asked, noticing his lowered appetite. 

“A new…something.” Sherlock smirked and stole the extra piece of toast off of Mina’s plate.

“Daddy!” Mina chastised him as she tried to steal it back, her little arms stretching out. She quickly gave up and dissolved into a fit of giggles as he waved the toast in victory.

“John and Mary should be getting back today from their holiday, will you be dragging him along with you?”

“What am I without my blogger, Molly?” he asked in mock sincerity.

“What’s a blogger?” Mina wrinkled her nose.

“A very useful pet.” Sherlock winked at Mina and Molly rolled her eyes at him.

* * *

Molly was having a good day! A good week she should say! Sherlock had been very _attentive_ to her needs the last three nights, Mina had been behaving even more so than usual, she had discovered two very interesting causes of death that morning alone, and her lab cultures were looking beautiful when she checked on them that afternoon! She was having a very good week indeed!

Until she was getting ready to go home.

“Molly!” Sherlock’s voice was urgent as he busted into the morgue.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as she pulled him into her office.

“I…I need to ask something of you and you’re not going to like it.” He sat down and waited for her to do the same. He took her hands in his and held them, not looking at her.

“Sherlock, you’re scaring me,” she placed her hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her. “You know you can ask me anything.” Sherlock swallowed hard and nodded at her.

“Charles Augustus Magnussen….have you heard of him?”

“Of course, he owns several newspapers,” she replied.

“Magnussen is like a shark…it’s the only way I can describe him. Molly, he turns my stomach in no way anyone else that I have ever dealt with has.” His eyebrows were drawn together and his voice was hard.

“You’ve dealt with terrorists and serial killers…yet, you’re telling me that he is the worst?” she asked in an amused tone.

“Yes!” He squeezed her hands tightly. “This…I wouldn’t be asking you this if it wasn’t important.” She nodded her head in understanding. “Lady Smallwood has asked that I intercede for her with Magnussen. Now, Magnussen won’t make a deal with someone unless he has determined their weakness, their pressure point, as he calls it, and because I will be interceding for Lady Smallwood, he will try to find my pressure points.” Sherlock stopped talking abruptly. Molly’s head was spinning a bit as she fully digested his words.

“Mina and I,” she whispered. Sherlock closed his eyes tightly and exhaled slowly.

“Not unless I can convince him I have a stronger pressure point…something from my past.”

“No!” Molly pushed away from him and stood up. “No, Sherlock. You can’t!” Her voice echoed in her office.

“If I don’t, you and Willamina could be in danger.” He stood up and reached for her, but she batted his hands away, keeping him at a distance. “I won’t be getting high off of anything…I just have to make it look like I am, to spend time in those places again.”

“You’re an addict and I knew that coming into this relationship but you’ve been clean for almost two years now…why would you want to jeopardize that?” He reached for her again, this time she let him pull her against his chest. “Why?”

“Because you and Mina are my world and I can’t have you two in danger.” He tightened his hold on her.

“Have you and John talked about this? Doesn’t he have any other ideas?” she asked, looking up at him.

“I haven’t told John…no one can know else can know this is fake.” She pulled out of his arms, her anger rising again.

“You not only want me to let you go back into the drug den but you want me to lie to our friends about it?!” she shouted.

“Molly, please...keep your voice down.” He motioned towards her office door.

“I am not okay with this!” she said between clenched teeth. He sighed heavily and shook his head.

“I know…but I need to keep you two safe and this is the most plausible situation…given my background.” He held his hand out to her. “Please let me keep you safe.” She hesitated for a moment before taking his hand.

“Okay.”

* * *

Her mobile buzzed loudly on the bedside table. Molly groaned as she rolled over and grabbed it.

“’ello?” she mumbled.

“You need to meet us at the lab.”

“John?” She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“You need to meet us at the lab…now.”

“Okay.” She swung her feet over the side of the bed and stood up. “I just need to get Mina around.”

“No, drop her off with Lestrade or Kathy if you can.”

“John what is this about?” she asked as she pulled on a pair of jeans.

“You’ll see when you get here.”

* * *

Molly gripped her purse tightly against her shoulder as she walked down the long hallway leading to the lab. She had tried to call Sherlock twice on the way over, but he hadn’t answered. He had been spending most of his free time the last month at Baker Street or anywhere else that wasn’t their home. Molly hadn’t liked the idea, but understood that if Magnussen knew where they lived, Mina could be in danger.

She pushed on the door of the lab, slowly, unsure of what to expect. She stepped inside and saw Mary wrapping some young man’s arm, he looked like a junkie. Next to her stood their neighbor, Isaac – Mary was always telling her how much trouble he was getting into.

Molly’s heart sunk when she made the connection between the two men Mary was dealing with. She turned and saw John, anger radiating off of him, and Sherlock, leaning on the counter, facing away from her.

“John?” Sherlock’s back stiffened when she spoke and she knew.

“You need to test him.” John pointed to the small jar on the counter. Molly dropped her purse on the counter and walked over to the equipment she would need. She pulled on her gloves and set to work, still hoping that she was wrong.

She wasn’t.

She snapped off her gloves and threw them on the table. She slowly walked in front of Sherlock, his eye’s finally meeting hers for the first time since she had gotten there.

“Molly, let me –”

She pulled her hand back and slapped him across his face. And then again. And again. Her whole body was shaking and she felt like she was going to explode.

“How dare you.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “You promised me! You said that this was for our safety! YOU SAID IT WAS FAKE! THAT YOU WOULDN’T GET HIGH!”

“What? You knew!?” John stepped closer, interrupting.

“It’s for a case!” Sherlock groaned in frustration. “And yes, she knew!”

“No!” She looked at John. “What I knew was that he had to make it look like he was back on drugs…not that he would actually be doing them!” she yelled as she turned back to Sherlock.

“Molly, I swear to you that last night was the first time!” He quickly pulled up his sleeves as he talked. “I didn’t inject anything.”

“How does that make it better?” John demanded.

“Last night was the first time.” He grabbed Molly’s shoulders, bringing her eyes up to meet his. “I promise.”

“You’ve promised before.” She turned to John. “Can you take him back to Baker Street?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you.” She turned back to Sherlock and rested her shaking hand on his chest. “You can come home and see Mina once you’re clean.”

* * *

“Did you call my brother?!” Sherlock asked in a disgusted voice as he got out of the cab.

“I bloody well did!” John called as he paid the cabbie.

“He always fixes the damn knocker.” He moved the brash knocker off center and pushed the door open. He frowned when he saw Mycroft sitting on the steps, waiting for him.

“The siren call of old habits, I see.” Mycroft stood up. “How dare you do this to Molly!”

“Leave her out of this!” Sherlock growled.

“Fine…why don’t you save me a little time and tell me, where should we be looking?” 

“We?” Sherlock asked in confusion.

“Mr. Holmes!” Anderson’s voice called from upstairs.

“Fucking hell, Mycroft!” Sherlock stomped past his brother and up the stairs. “Get out of my bloody flat Anderson!” he boomed as he burst into the kitchen.

“Sorry, Sherlock. It’s for your own good.” Anderson held his gloved hands up in protest.

“You’re a celebrity these days, Sherlock. You can’t afford a drug habit.” Mycroft looked at him pointedly.

“I do not have a drug habit…it was one hit…a mistake.” Sherlock could feel his head pounding as he talked. _Too many people_. He pulled his hood up and curled into his chair, laying his head on the arm rest.

“Must’ve been a rather large hit…” he heard John mumble.

“What have you found so far?” Mycroft asked Anderson. 

“THERE’S NOTHING TO FIND!” Sherlock bellowed from his chair.

“Really? John informed me that your test was positive.” Mycroft turned on his heel as he talked.

Sherlock stood up abruptly, swaying a little on his feet.

“This is not what you think, this is for a case,” he said as calmly as he could.

“What case could possible justify this?” Mycroft wrinkled his nose in frustration.

“Magnussen.”

Mycroft turned to Anderson.

“Get out now and never mention that you heard that name in this room.” He waited until Anderson had closed the door behind him before turning back to Sherlock. “Magnussen is not your business, Sherlock. He is not to be messed with.”

“He’s even pulling your strings!” Sherlock said in disgust.

“You don’t know what you’re doing…you’re going to get someone hurt.” Mycroft stared his brother down. Sherlock pressed his lips together and nodded his head.

“Well, I’ll let you know if I need a hand.” He swung around Mycroft and opened the door. “Bye-bye,” he said pointing to the hallway.

Mycroft sighed and turned for the door, but stopped.

“She deserves far better than you, brother-mine,” he whispered. Sherlock’s nostrils flared and he hooked his hand under Mycroft’s elbow, bending his arm behind his back and pushing him into the door frame.

“Brother-mine,” Sherlock took a shaky breath and pushed harder on Mycroft’s wrist, “don’t appall me when I’m high.”

“Let him go, Sherlock.” John stepped up to the pair and waited until Sherlock dropped his grip. “Mycroft, he’s hurt you before and right now, if you don’t go, I think he just might do it again.” Mycroft watched as Sherlock went back to the living room and sat down in his chair. “Just go.” He picked up his umbrella and left without another word. “Magnussen?” John asked as he turned to look at Sherlock.

“Yes.” Sherlock nodded and then looked to John’s seat. He sat down, gripping the arm rests.

“You say this is all for a case then?” He motioned to Sherlock’s disheveled appearance.

“I swear.”

John leaned forward and ran a hand over his face; it felt like it had been days ago that Isaac’s mum had knocked on his door. He looked at his friend and he could tell the high was wearing off – he looked even more ragged than when he had pulled him out of the drug den.

“Why?” he asked, leaning back.

“Magnussen!” Sherlock scoffed at him.

“No…why did you do it?”

Sherlock took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“The others, they were…they were getting suspicious because they hadn’t seen me getting high. When they offered it to me last night I knew I couldn’t refuse if I was going to convince the papers I had a drug habit.”

John gave a loud huff and clasped his hands on his knees.

“You are lucky that Molly is a fucking saint and didn’t break off your engagement right then and there.”

“I know,” Sherlock whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own nor do I claim to have created the dialog that comes directly from the show.

“William Sherlock Scott Holmes!” Molly breathed as she came rushing into his hospital room, tears streaming down her face.

“Molly,” he moaned as he tried to sit up.

“You are in so much trouble!” She slapped his shoulder before wrapping her arms around his neck, trying not to brush the bandage on his chest. “You were supposed to get clean not get shot you idiot!” She grabbed his face and peppered kisses across his skin, leaving a trail of her tears.

“I know…sorry ‘bout that.” He gripped her face and pulled her lips to his, smashing her chest against his wound. “Owe!” he gasped, letting her go. She furrowed her brow in worry as she stepped back. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’re a mess.” She shook her head at him and dropped her coat and purse in the empty chair next to the bed. “I’m a mess,” she gestured to her face and grabbed a tissue to wipe away her tears.

“Just a bit,” he whispered. He moved over on his bed, wincing as he went, and patted the empty space beside him. She slid up on the bed and took his hand in hers, brushing the hair out of his eyes with her free hand. “I’m sorry.” She raised her eyebrow in question. “For worrying you…for the drug test…for doing the job I do.” She looked down at their intertwined hands and nodded.

“You wouldn’t be you if you weren’t the _World’s Only Consulting Detective_ ,” she said with a small smile. “I do wish you would be a little more cautious, though.” He gave her a half attempted smile and then winced again. “Do you want me to turn up your mor – ”

“Did John go home?” he asked suddenly, looking at the door.

“He volunteered to pick Mina up from Kathy’s…why?”

“I need to tell you something and we don’t have long.”

“Tell me what?”

“Something about Mary.”

* * *

_JOHN: What have I ever done ... hmm? ... my whole life ... to deserve you?  
SHERLOCK: Everything.  
JOHN: Sherlock, I’ve told you... shut up.  
SHERLOCK: No, I mean it, seriously. Everything – everything you’ve ever done is what you did.  
JOHN: Sherlock, one more word and you will not need morphine.  
SHERLOCK: You were a doctor who went to war….You’re a man who couldn’t stay in the suburbs for more than a month without storming a crack den and beating up a junkie. Your best friend is a sociopath who solves crimes as an alternative to getting high…….John, you are addicted to a certain lifestyle. You’re abnormally attracted to dangerous situations and people ... so is it truly such a surprise that the woman you’ve fallen in love with conforms to that pattern?  
JOHN: But she wasn’t supposed to be like that…Why is she like that?  
SHERLOCK: Because you chose her._

Molly was silent as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. She was sure that John was going to come unglued at any moment or that Sherlock was going to pass out from the pain. Her head was spinning as the three of them talked.

Mary Watson. No, not Mary. Someone else.

She had already had a week to process the information that Sherlock thought he knew. She was sure that when she saw Mary for the first time after the shooting that she would not be able to stand it. That she would go back on her promise to help Sherlock find a way to save her. That she would hate her for shooting the man she loved.

But when she looked at her all she saw was her best friend. All she saw was _Mary Watson_ , the woman who cared so much about her and Mina. The woman who had been her confidant from the moment they met. The woman who had saved John and kept up with Sherlock.

Not someone else. Just Mary. Mary Watson.

_JOHN: How did she save your life?  
SHERLOCK: She phoned the ambulance.  
JOHN: I phoned the ambulance.  
SHERLOCK: She phoned first…You didn’t find me for another five minutes. Left to you, I would have died. The average arrival time for a London ambulance is ...  
PARAMEDIC: Did somebody call an ambulance?  
SHERLOCK: ... eight minutes…Did you bring any morphine? I asked on the phone.  
PARAMEDIC: We were told there was a shooting.  
SHERLOCK: There was, last week ...but I believe I’m bleeding internally and my pulse is very erratic…You may need to re-start my heart on the way.  
JOHN: Sherlock…Sherlock?  
SHERLOCK: John?...John – Magnussen is all that matters now. You can trust Mary. She saved my life.  
JOHN: She shot you._   
  


“Mmm, mixed messages, I grant you that…oh!” Sherlock groaned in pain and feel back. John held his shoulders tight as the paramedics grabbed hold and lowered him down. “Molly!”

“I’m here, Sherlock.” She snaked her hands through the limbs of the paramedics and took hold of his hand.

“Trust her…don’t leave her.” He squeezed her hand tighter as he groaned again.

“I won’t. I promise.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Don’t you die on me, Sherlock Holmes. Don’t you dare die…..I love you.”

“I love yo…” he mumbled as an oxygen mask was put on his face. The paramedics pushed them all back and hurried Sherlock down the stairs.

John grabbed his coat and mumbled something about calling them a cab before hurrying down the steps. Molly nodded numbly and picked up her purse. She was half way out the door when she realized Mary was still standing in the corner of the room, not moving.

“Come on.” Molly held her hand out to her, but she didn’t move. “You heard him, Mary. I won’t leave you.”

“Why?” she choked out. Molly walked back to her and wrapped her arms around Mary’s shoulders.

“Because, you’re my best friend,” Molly whispered. Mary started shaking in her arms and clung to her as she broke down. Molly collapsed to the floor with her and rocked her as she cried. “Shh,” she cooed in Mary’s ear as she rubbed her back. “Shhh.”

Mary finally sat back and wiped her face on the sleeve of her coat. Molly stood up and extended her hand out to her, pulling her up to her feet.

“Thank you,” Mary said quietly. Molly gripped her shoulders tightly and gave her a small smile.

“Now, come on…I’m sure John has a cab by now and we don’t want to keep him waiting.”

* * *

Molly fidgeted in her seat, the anger radiating off of her.

Sherlock shifted uncomfortable in his hospital gown and opened his mouth to talk but Molly shook her head, hushing him. He waited another few minutes before trying again, but she held up a finger and gave him a pointed look.

“Now, I understand that you want to help Mary,” he opened his mouth again, but she ignored him, “But what in the hell possessed you to think it was okay to leave the hospital right after having not one, but TWO SURGERIES!?!?” She was breathing heavily and Sherlock swore that if she tried, she could have shot fire out of her eyes.

“Bit not good?” he asked quietly.

“Just a bit,” she snipped. She huffed in frustration and got up, pacing around his bed. “You are the most infuriating man that I know!”

Sherlock watched as she paced, taking in her appearance. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was slipping out of her bun, failing over her face and shoulders. She was wearing one of his lounging shirts tied up above her hip with a pair of old jeans that had holes in them.

“Are you even listening to me, Sherlock?” He blinked at her several times trying to replay the words she had just said, but failed. She gave him an expectant look.

“You dressed quickly this morning, not bothering to change your shirt once you realized it was one of mine; instead you tied it up on your way out the door. The hospital must have woken you from a dead sleep when they called this morning because you still had the faint impression of your pillow case on your cheek when you first arrived. You must not have gotten to the laundry yet this week as you are wearing your least favorite jeans, the ones that hug your hips. Also, you must have run out of your shampoo last time you took a shower as you smell like mine.” He stopped his observations and looked up. Her nostrils were flared and her eyes were dark. He swallowed hard.

“And your deductions were leading you where?” she asked, hands on her hips.

“To say that you look sexy as hell right now.” He gave her a knowing smile. She shook her head and dropped her hands, laughing at his ridiculousness. “Come here,” he said, holding out his hand. She obliged and took his hand, sitting on the side of the bed next to him. “I’m sorry for scaring you…again.”

Molly took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I am just worried that something worse is going to happen.” She gently laid her hand against the bandage on his chest.

“I can’t promise you that it won’t,” he said quietly.

“I know that.” She dropped her eyes from his. He slid his free hand under her chin to bring her eyes back up to meet his.

“But I do promise you that I will always do my best to come home to you.” He pulled her face down to his, capturing her lips with his.

“I know that too,” she said as she rested her forehead against his. Sherlock waited another heart beat before he took her face in both his hands and pulled her back so he could look her in the eyes.

“I won’t abandon Mary.”

“I don’t want you to,” she said, gripping his wrists. “You’re her best chance.” She leaned forward and kissed him again. He lifted his chin, deepening the kiss and sliding his tongue across hers. “Sherlock!” she breathed heavily pulling back from him.

“All you would have to do is unplug my heart monitor,” he said with a straight face.

“Not a chance!”

* * *

Over the next several weeks the only way Molly had been able to convince Sherlock to stay in the hospital was by agreeing to let him turn his room into what Wiggins was calling “Head Quarters” – every surface was covered in some kind of newspaper clipping or journal article. Every time she stopped by, the nurses were complaining and threatening to kick Wiggins out and throw everything away.

“Alright,” Molly clapped her hands as she walked into his room. “Doctors say you get to come home tomorrow!” She bounced slightly as she talked, her excitement poring over. “Mina will be so happy – we’ve missed you so much.” She leaned over and planted a kiss on him, but he barely responded. “What’s wrong?” she asked, sitting down next to him on the bed.

“I can’t come home.” He gently placed his hands on hers.

“Your doctor said that he explained everythin – ”

“He did,” he interrupted her. “I get to leave the hospital, but I’m not coming home…I’m going to Baker Street.”

“What?!” Molly jumped to her feet, irritation and confusion flooding her. “Sherlock, you are still recovering – you need to be home.”

“I’m not putting you two in that kind of danger right now – me going to Baker Street is what is safest for all of us.” He stretched his hand out to her, but she took a step back, tears filling her eyes. “Molly…I need to make sure you two are safe.” He watched as she wrung her hands, tears now falling down her cheeks.

“Do you think that I don’t know the risks that come with being with you?” she asked softly. “Because I do…and I still choose you.” Sherlock sighed and stood up, collecting Molly in his arms. They clung to each other in silence as Molly’s tears dried. “Please, come home.”

“I can’t.”


	3. Chapter 3

Molly was still unsure why Sherlock had dragged Mary and John out to his parents’ for Christmas, but she couldn’t deny that she was glad that the two of them wouldn’t be alone for the holiday. John had spent the first three months after the A.G.R.A. reveal at Baker Street and had only gone home when Molly had yelled at him about being the kind of man he claimed to be. Mary had told her that they hadn’t talked much the last three months since he had been home, but he had been there and had gone to every one of her doctor’s appointments with her, so it was progress.

“Dad, can I have a moment alone with Molly?” Sherlock asked as he walked into the living room.

“Of course.” Mr. Holmes gave Molly a smile before getting up and heading into the kitchen.

Things between her and Sherlock hadn’t been the best either over the last few months as he had thrown himself head first into the case and Molly seemed at a loss as how to bring him back to reality. He had spent so much time at Baker Street that their relationship was starting to resemble what it was before she had gotten pregnant. His time with Mina had been even less, only allowing her to “ _come and see Mrs. Hudson_ ” a few times over the last several months.

“I put Mina down for a nap,” he said softly.

“Really? She hates naps.” Molly wrinkled her nose in surprise.

“She was exhausted,” he said with a small shrug.

She watched him for a moment, trying to gage his behaviors. “Are you okay?” she asked, setting her book aside. He nodded and came over to the couch, dropping to his knees in front of her. “I saw you smoking with Mycroft earlier.”

“It was an interesting conversation,” he commented. Molly raised an eyebrow at him. “Another time,” he told her. Taking her hands in his, he kissed them. “I am sorry for being so distantly lately.”

“I’ve missed you,” she said as she ran her hands through his hair and he closed his eyes, inhaling sharply.

“I’ve missed you too.”

Molly leaned in and kissed him, melting into his body. She tugged on his hair and he gripped her tighter, swallowing the small sounds she was making. It was the type of kiss you get lost in, not remembering where you are or whose around…not sure how long you have been there but not caring because it hasn’t been long enough.

But then Molly’s head began to feel light and she pulled back.

“Sorry, just a little dizzy.” She ran a hand over her face and tried to focus on Sherlock as she gripped one of the lapels of his coat.

“Listen to me, Molly,” he took her face in his hands and brought her eyes up to meet his, “I love you without question or hesitation and I am sorry for what I am about to do.”

“What…Sherlock, wh-what are you talking about?” She could feel her body growing heavier and was trying her hardest to stay awake. “Mina…Mina hates naps….” She felt her world spinning and couldn’t stop it. “Sherlock, pl-please don’t….don’t do this…whatever…it…”

“I love you.” She heard him say before her world went dark.

* * *

Molly felt like she was lying with a blanket of bricks on her body. She tried to move her legs but they were tangled together in something. She could hear voices but they were mumbled and seemed far away.

What seemed like days later, a small hand was patting her face gently.

“Mummy…mummy?”

Molly slowly opened her eyes, blinking to clear her vision. Mina was standing next to the couch, smiling at her. She saw movement behind Mina and heard angry voices. Molly shook her head, bringing into focus Mary trying to strangle Billy; it took both Mycroft and Mr. Holmes to hold her back. She sat up, holding her head, still feeling cloudy and confused.

“What’s happening?” she managed to ask. Mary stopped fighting against the two men and turned around to look at her, concern written all over her face.

“Molly!” Mycroft sighed in relief. “I was beginning to think this idiot had over dosed you!” He gestured angrily to Billy.

“I told ‘im my calculations were spot on.” Wiggins crossed his arms defensively.

“Where is Sherlock?” she asked as the pulled Mina into her lap. The rest of them stared at her before exchanging worried looks. “Where is he?” she asked again, her voice hard.

“I’m so sorry, Molly.” Mary walked to her quietly and sat down. “He’s gone to see Magnussen and he took John with him.” Molly stared at her a moment, trying to wrap her brain around what Mary had just said. She looked at her future in-laws, apprehension radiating off of them.

“You have to stop him,” she said turning to Mycroft.

“I’ve already made the call and my ride will be here any moment.” He looked at his watch and nodded. “I need to get my things around,” he said, turning for the kitchen.

Molly slipped Mina off her lap and hurried after him.

“I’m coming with you,” she said, grabbing a hold of his arm. “He needs me.”

“Right now, what he needs is for you to be safe…you’ll stay here with Mary.”

“Please, Mycroft!” she begged, tears slipping down her face. He gathered her in his arms and hugged her tightly. “We can’t lose him,” her were words barely audible.

“I’ll bring him home.”

* * *

Sherlock’s eyes flew open – if Mind Palace Molly was mad at him, he could only imagine how pissed his Molly was. He sat up and stretched. He was beyond board and had had nothing to do for the past week but replay Christmas night’s events over and over again in his mind. They hadn’t let any visitors in – not that he thought he had any visitors to be let in – and he hadn’t been allowed to call anyone. Mycroft had been with him when they locked him up, but he hadn’t been back since, not that he was surprised.

The lock on his cell clicked and the door swung open.

“Hello, brother-mine.” Mycroft stepped into the small cell, water dripping from the closed brolly in his hands. “Time to go.”

The brothers were silent as they rode in the back of the car and Sherlock didn’t say anything when he realized they were headed back to Mycroft’s house instead of his home or 221B. Besides the fact that Molly probably didn’t want to see him, Mycroft had most likely had to make a deal to get him released into his custody.

“Daddy!” Mina leapt into his arms the second he walked into the siting room. He fell to the floor clutching her to his chest. “You’re squishing me,” she mumbled.

“Sorry munchkin.” He pulled her back and ruffled her hair. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too!” she sang as she hugged him again.

“Is your mum – ” he stopped talking, looking up to see Molly waking in from the other side of the room.

“Hello Sherlock,” she said softly and gave him a tight smile, trying to hide her emotions.

“Munchkin, can I have a moment alone with your mum?” he asked Mina. She extracted herself from his arms and frowned at him. “Just a few minutes?”

“Come with me, dear.” Mycroft stood behind Sherlock holding his hand out to Mina. She nodded and followed her uncle out of the room.

“Molly,” he sighed as he stood up. He walked briskly to her but stopped mere inches away, sensing her hesitation.

“I’m…” she cleared her throat, “I’m glad you’re alright.” She looked up at him and took a step back, putting some distance between them. He clenched his jaw, trying not to let her see how deep that small step cut him. “Has Mycroft told you what they are planning on doing?” she asked slowly. He shook his head no, unable to trust his voice. “He, uhh, he says it’s an MI6 mission that will probably last six months.” He felt a cold shiver run down his spine but he tried to suppress it. The look on her face told him that she knew exactly where he was headed. “You leave in two days.”

“Will you stay with me?” he asked, holding his hand out to her. She hesitated before placing her hand in his.

“Of course.”

* * *

Sherlock paced Mycroft’s living room anxiously; Molly should have been back already. He looked at the clock on the wall, fifteen minutes before they had to leave for the airport. He wanted to shout but stopped himself, taking in the sight of his daughter sleeping on the couch. He smiled bitterly to himself and went over, kneeling next to her. He brushed the curls out of her face placed a soft kiss on her forehead, already missing her.

He shot to his feet when he heard movement behind him. He frowned when he saw his brother.

“Where’s Molly?” he asked when he saw the look on Mycroft’s face.

“I’m sorry, Sherlock…really, I am.” Mycroft held out an envelope and Sherlock could see his name scrawled across the top of it in Molly’s hand. He inhaled sharply and took the letter, waiting until Mycroft was out of the room to open it.

_**Sherlock,** _

_**I am so sorry. When I left Mycroft’s I had every intension of coming back and seeing you off. But being here, in our home, knowing that you would never be back in it, I couldn’t leave.** _

_**While I am beyond furious with you, I need you to know that none of that has to do with me not being there. It is because I love you that I must let you go now. I know this was your choice and that even if I had been there with you, nothing in the world would have been able to stop you. And if I was there with you today I am not sure I could find the strength to let you go even though I know that I must.** _

_**Thank you for giving me the most beautiful way of remembering you. I wish you were going to be here to watch her grow up, to see her become her own person. She is so much like you and I am not sure I will be able to nurture that side of her like you could, but I promise you I will do my best.** _

_**You were an impossible dream that became my reality and it was amazing while it lasted. You showed me more love in the last year than I ever thought possible and you have changed my life forever. You have ruined me for anyone else and I will ache for you, dreaming of your touch. I have always loved you, I will always love you, and I will miss you immeasurably.** _

_**I promise to dry my tears and get back to my life because I know that is what you expect of me. I will take Mina to the park and spend time with Mary. I will make sure John is getting along and that Mycroft stays busy. I will check in with Lestrade and keep an eye on Mrs. Hudson. We will be okay. I will be okay.** _

_**Take care of my heart where ever you go and I will do my best to take care of yours,** _

_**Molly** _

Sherlock held the paper tightly in his hand, reading it again. He had already had his last moment with Molly Hooper and he hadn’t even known it at the time. He folded the letter up and shoved it in his back pocket, storming out of the room, looking for his brother.

“We need to leave now,” he burst into Mycroft’s office. Mycroft sighed and sat down the pen he had been using.

“I am sorry Sherlock, but we do not have the time to drive back to Molly’s.” Sherlock clenched his jaw and ignored the way that Mycroft referred to his home as _Molly’s_.

“Baker Street,” he said quickly. “It’s on the way and I left something there that I would very much like to take with me.”

Mycroft stared at him for a moment before nodding.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains smut - skip words styled in block quote if still interested in reading but want to skip the sex

Sherlock sat in a dark hospital room, lights shut off and the blinds drawn, as his body was pumped full of fluids…Molly was going to kill him. He had been sent on a mission that guaranteed his demise in six months – his death certificate had been signed. Yet here he was. Moriarty was back, dead yes, but he was back. London needed him and she was going to kill him.

He heard hurried foot falls in the hall and a moment later a breathless Molly Hooper rounded the corner. She stood in the door way breathing heavily, her shoulders heaving, dried tear streaks on her face. She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her, throwing the lock. She walked to him quickly, shedding her lab coat. She pulled her jumper over her head and toed off her shoes before grabbing a bandage and removing his IV.

Sherlock sat silently, his eyes trained on her. When she had finished removing his IV he stood up and discarded his own shirt and shoes. He followed after her, removing his trousers and pants. He reached up and pulled the tie out of her hair and watched as it cascaded over her shoulders.

> “Molly,” he breathed but she shook her head and placed a finger to his lips, silencing him. She pushed him back into the chair and crawled onto his lap, one knee on either side of his thighs. She took him in hand and ran the tip of his cock from the top of her slit to the bottom and back up. Sherlock let out a hiss as she settled down over him, letting his length fill her. She sighed and started moving, moaning each time he filled her again. He gripped her hips as she started to ride him harder, slamming her body down on his as she quickened her pace. He could tell her climax was building and that she needed to find her release quickly. He stuck his thumb between her folding and started rubbing her swollen clit as she continued her downward thrusts.
> 
> Molly came with a shout that Sherlock quickly swallowed with his mouth. She leaned into his kiss and settled her hands on his shoulders as his tongue explored her mouth. She started moving again, slowly rocking back and forth and moaned as the friction pressed against her sensitive clit. He pushed her to her feet and stood up. He turned her around so she was bracing herself on the wall and stepped up behind her, rubbing the tip of his cock against her. He slowly guided himself back into her warm folds and enjoyed the string of curse words that left her mouth. He gripped her hip with one hand and used the other to cup her right breast, rubbing her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Molly dug her nails against the wall at the sensation.
> 
> He felt her tightening again and knew his own release wasn’t far off. He gripped her hip tighter as he increased his speed, pounding into her from behind. He ran his other hand down her body, rubbing his fingers over their joining. Molly moaned louder and turned her head into her arm, muffling her noises. He moved his fingers up to focus on her clit and he could feel her legs start to shake as the heat built in her belly again.
> 
> Molly’s arms buckled as her orgasm hit and Sherlock held her up, keeping her from colliding with the wall. She rocked back and forth on his cock, his own orgasm just out of reach. She finally settled her forearms against the wall, leaning heavily against it for support as Sherlock continued to pound into her. A string of unintelligible words came from her mouth, tipping him over the edge.
> 
> They stood locked together, leaning on the wall until Molly’s sweat soaked body started shivering. He pulled away from her and found tissues to clean up with.

She dressed in silence, not looking at him. He sat back down in the chair to pull his shoes on and looked up to see her holding a new IV in her hand. He rolled the sleeve of his shirt up on the opposite arm and let her set it. She checked to make sure his line was clean and then restarted his fluids.

Picking up her lab coat, she pulled it on and brushed her fingers through her tangled hair before pulling it back into her usually pony tail. With her hand on the door she turned to him, tears now streaming down her face again.

“I think it would be best if you continue to stay at Baker Street for a while.” Then she was gone.

* * *

Molly had texted him two weeks after their _encounter_ and asked if he would like to start taking Mina to play school in the mornings. He of course had said yes and asked if he would be able to have dinner with them sometime that week. It had taken Molly a solid ten minutes of rewriting her text before responding, _You may have dinner with Mina any night you like, you are her father and that is your right, but I will have to decline your offer for now._ He had stared at the text a few seconds too long, drawing John’s questioning gaze. He shoved his phone in his pocket and turned his attention back to the crime scene.

* * *

“Oh shit…do you know where your phone charger is?” John asked as they trudged their way up the stairs at Baker Street. “Won’t even turn on.” He waved his mobile as he opened the door.

“Kitchen counter,” Sherlock said as he took off his jacket. He watched John dig through the piles of junk in the kitchen. “I think,” he mumbled as he pulled out his own phone. _Forty-three missed calls_ flashed on the screen. He frowned as he unlocked his phone, barely hearing John rejoicing as he found the charger. There were thirty missed calls from Mary and ten from Molly.

“So, how long has it been since you and Molly have had a real conversation?” John asked, his mobile chiming as it turned on.

“John,” Sherlock’s voice was stern.

“It’s been almost two months, Sherlock, and I…” John’s voice trailed off as he looked at his phone. “Fifty-nine missed calls.”

“We’re in a lot of trouble.”

Molly lay on the couch wrapped tightly in a blanket with her head on Mary’s knees. Mary gently stroked Molly’s hair as she talked.

“I am so tired of not being able to see my feet.” Mary wiggled her toes. “And good lord! Look at my ankles – they are massive!” Molly giggled and sat up.

“My feet were so swollen when I was pregnant that I had to buy new shoes for work and then by the time I finally went back to the morgue I had to give the new shoes away because they were too big!” Molly smiled brightly as she looked at Mary – a very pregnant Mary who had become a rather permanent fixture on her couch at night.

Most nights John was out late, working new cases with Sherlock and Mary had been trying to keep Molly preoccupied. She knew what it was that Mary and John were doing, _babysitting_ her and Sherlock, making sure that they were okay. Normally Molly would have protested, sending Mary on her way and calling John to tell him to go home and be with his wife, but she couldn’t. Not now. Not with what had happened.

She dropped Mary’s gaze and stared at her engagement ring. Most days its felt heavy and awkward on her finger, a solid reminder of what was slipping away from her. When she took it off, her hand felt bare and her chest ached, as if the ring was the only thing keeping her tied to Sherlock. She would spend most of the day slipping it off and on as she worked, relief and guilt flooding her each time the silver band slid over her skin.

“Hey,” Mary’s hand came to rest on top of Molly’s, drawing her gaze back up. “Want to talk about it?” Molly gave her a tight smile and stood up, shaking her head. “You can’t ignore him forever.” Molly picked up their tea cups and took them to the kitchen.

“I am not ignoring him.” She sat the cups in the sink and turned on the water.

“Molly…”

“I’m not! I am very pleasant when he picks Mina up in the mornings.” She grabbed the cloth and quickly washed the cups as she talked.

“Molly.”

“And the other day, he and I both helped Lestrade on a case.” She grabbed a hand towel and started to dry.

“Molly!” The intensity in Mary’s voice caused Molly to pause, setting down the dishes. “My water just broke.”

* * *

Molly sat on the couch watching Mina drawing at her tea table. She was twisting her engagement ring while trying to convince herself to ask Sherlock to stay for dinner but realizing what was stopping her was that she was nervous. _Which is ridiculous, because he’s your fiancé…you have a child with him. There is no reason to be nervous!_ She had been trying to ask him to dinner for the last couple of weeks since Mary had had the baby. Their exchange at the hospital had been good and if they were going to work past the Magnussen stuff, they needed to talk.

The front door opened as Sherlock called out,

“Hello? Oh – ” he paused when he saw Molly sitting on the couch. “Hi,” he said, his hand still on the handle and the door completely open.

“Hi.” She stood up and gave him a small smile. He smiled back and finally stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

“Dad!” Mina yelled as she ran to him.

“Dad?” Sherlock frowned as he picked her up. “What happened to ‘Daddy’?”

“It’s the same thing!” she giggled as she hugged him.

“She’s been calling me _mum_ intermittently…” Molly walked over and scratched Mina’s back. “I don’t know how I feel about it either,” she whispered to Sherlock. He smiled at her again.

“Are we going to dinner?” Mina asked.

“If that’s still okay with your mum.” He looked at her, his smile slipping when he saw the apprehension on her face.

“Oh…umm…of course,” she finally managed to get out. Mina’s face lite up and she wiggled out of Sherlock’s arms to get her shoes on.

“Thank you,” Sherlock said softly.

“No worries…” she said over her shoulder. She stood at the counter listening as Mina struggled into her shoes. She looked down at her engagement ring and twisted it again. “Actually,” she turned around, “would you want to have dinner here? I took out fish earlier.”

“That would be great,” he said, slipping his coat off.

Molly sat outside of Mina’s room listening to Sherlock putting her to bed. Her head was leaned back against the wall and her hands were resting in her lap, her engagement ring left untouched.

“I miss reading to you, munchkin,” she heard Sherlock say.

“Me too, Daddy,” came Mina’s soft reply. Molly smiled as she listened to the rest of their exchange, realizing just how much she had missed it too.

A few minutes later she heard Sherlock’s footsteps, the light being shut off, and the door opening.

“Hi,” she said quietly as he closed the door behind him.

“Hi.” He reached down and helped her to her feet. “Thank you.” She nodded and turned, slowly walking down the hall towards her room and the stairs.

“She misses you…” She stopped at the top of the stairs, looking at _their_ room. “I miss you.” She felt him stop just behind her. He leaned his head down, his breath warm on her exposed neck and her eyes slid closed.

“I miss you too,” he whispered. He kissed her neck softly. “You smell good,” he sighed as she leaned her body into his. He ran his hand around her stomach and she laced her fingers with his. As he kissed her again, she reached up and threaded her fingers through his curls.

“Sherlock…” she breathed when he dragged his teeth across her skin. At his name he spun her around and pinned her to the wall, capturing her mouth with his until neither of them could breathe. They broke apart, gasping for air, their chests heaving in time.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathed, running his thumb along her jaw. She gave him a small smile before pushing up on her tip tops to place a soft kiss to his lips.

“Maybe we could get coffee and talk?” she asked.

“I would like that.” He stepped back, his hand lingering on her face a moment longer. “I will see you soon, good night.”

“Good night.”


	5. Chapter 5

But they had Rosie’s christening to attend along with Mina’s 3rd birthday party to throw. And then a cabinet minister’s son was found dead, Sherlock got distracted by a missing bust of Margaret Thatcher, life got in the way, and the coffee never happened.

* * *

“I don’t know what happened,” Molly sighed as she padded down the stairs, her mobile pressed to her ear. “He was so distracted at Rosie’s christening and he barely watched Mina open her gifts at her party. For the last few months he has just been so…distant.”

“I’m sorry sweetie,” Mary sighed too. “Maybe he just needs to work out whatever this missing Thatcher thing is and then you can get coffee.” Molly pulled a blanket around her shoulders and curled into the couch as Mary talked.

“I hope so…but I also can’t help but think that this is going to keep happening.” Molly pulled the blanket even tighter around her. There were shuffling sounds on the other end but Mary was quiet. Molly waited a moment longer, but still she didn’t respond. “Mary?”

“Oh…umm…” she sounded like she was holding the phone away from her face.

“Everything okay?” Molly asked.

“Yeah…yeah, I just got a text…umm, actually,” her voice shifted and Molly could tell she was speaking directly into the speaker again. “Molly, I need to go. I’ll call you later.” Mary disconnected before she could respond.

“Okay…” Molly said to herself and dropped her phone on the couch. She turned to watch the rain out the window.

Several hours later Molly was jolted awake by the sound of her mobile. Groping around for the source of the ringing she found that her mobile had worked its way down between the cushions. She struggled to pull it loose from its position but managed to yank it free.

“John?” she said urgently seeing as it was just after 4 am.

“We need to talk. Now.” His voice was hard and Molly could tell he was furious.

“What’s going on?” she asked sitting up, the blanket falling off of her shoulders.

“I’ll explain when you get here.”

“Is something wrong with – ”

“We will explain everything when you get here,” he said cutting her off.

“Okay, I’ll grab Mina and we will be right there.”

* * *

Molly sat at John and Mary’s kitchen table, her head pounding from the amount of information being feed to her.

“Here.” Sherlock sat a hot cup of tea in front of her.

“Thank you.” She leaned forward and started doctoring it up. She picked up the cup and held it between her hands, staring at the middle of the table, no longer listening to John’s babbling. They had been talking for over three hours now and both of the girls had just laid down for a nap, which Mina had only briefly objected to while yawning. “Okay,” she said, interrupting John. “Let me read this again.” She took the note that Mary had left John and brought it to her face. She had already read it several times and really just needed John to stop talking.

Mary had already left, there wasn’t anything they could do that would change that now. They knew where she was and John and Sherlock would be leaving that afternoon to go get her. Molly would take Rosie home with her and Mina for the next few days and Mycroft would continue the search that Sherlock had asked him for just last night.

“Alright.” Molly closed her eyes and dropped the note to the table. “We have a plan.” She opened her eyes again and sat back in her chair. “We will stick to that plan and you two will bring Mary home.” John and Sherlock both nodded. “I know this won’t change anything but I have to ask, why didn’t you come to all of us with this, Sherlock?” He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, unable to sit still.

“He came to me.” John leaned forward in his chair. “If he had just gone to Mary, we probably wouldn’t have any idea where she is.”

“But if he had brought this information to all of us instead of you two playing alone in your _secret club_. If he had told you along with Mary and I,” Molly waved her hands to the empty chairs around the table, “All four of us sitting down, supporting each other, like we promised, Mary might still be here right now.” John and Sherlock were silent. “Just…g – ” Molly’s voice caught. Clearing her throat she continued, “Go get her and bring her home.”

“We will.” Sherlock nodded and stepped forward, looking down at Molly. “John, can I have a moment with Molly?”

“Sherlock, this is my ki….” He trailed off as Molly and Sherlock turned to look at him, both frowning with brows drawn together. “Yeah, okay…I guess I’ll just go check my bag again…” he huffed and stood up, leaving them alone.

Sherlock waited a moment before sitting down. He folded he hands together on the table before speaking.

“You’re right; I should have come to all of you.”

Molly looked down at her cup, thinking. _If he had just come to me, then we could have come up with –_

“It doesn’t matter now,” she said firmly. She had spent the last three hours silently and constantly thinking about the what ifs, but they would be of no use now.

“We never did get to have that coffee,” he said quietly after a brief pause.

“No, we didn’t.” She kept her eyes down, running a finger along the edge of her tea cup.

“When we get back?” he asked. Molly looked up at him. How different things would be between them now if A.G.R.A. had stayed buried. She sighed and rested her hand against his left cheek, just under the bruise that AJ had given him.

“When you get back, why don’t you come home?” He looked at her in surprise. “I know we have a lot to talk about, but none of that is going to change how I feel about you.” He closed his eyes and leaned into her hand. Turning his head, he kissed her palm before standing up and dragging her with him. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and he buried his nose in her hair. They stood embraced for a long time, only breaking apart when John cleared his throat and reminded him that their plane would be leaving soon.

* * *

Molly gave a relieved sigh when she saw him at their table. It hadn’t occurred to her until the ride over that he may have thought lunch was canceled and by the time she had dug her mobile out of her coat, she was almost to the restaurant.

“Hi,” she said, sitting down.

“Hello. You look…” he scanned her from head to toe, “Awful.”

“Why thank you, Mycroft.”

He cleared his throat as he relaxed into his chair, watching her fumble out of her jacket.

“Sorry…I’m sure you’re worried.”

“Understatement,” she mumbled as she raised her cup to her lips.

“Have you heard from them?”

“She is still traveling too much to get a pinpoint on her location, but Sherlock believes that she will slow soon…how is _your_ search going?” she asked, picking up the menu. Mycroft raised an eyebrow at her. “Sometimes he tells me things.” The corner of his mouth twitched in response. Molly frowned and turned her attention to menu.

“Where are the girls?” he asked to fill the air.

“Your parents drove in to help – ” He made an exasperated noise. “All I said was that John and Mary were helping Sherlock with a case that took him out of the country for a few days…I didn’t share any national secrets.” She rolled her eyes at him. “You know what? I think we should forgo lunch and just order dessert.” He paused a moment before agreeing.

“I’m getting the chocolate cake.”

* * *

“Thank you again,” Molly said hugging Mrs. Holmes.

“Our pleasure – Grandparents always love spending time with their grandchildren.” Viola let go of Molly and scooped Mina up. “Peanut, you are growing so fast.”

“I know!” Mina giggled.

Molly watched as Carleton placed his hand on Sherlock’s back, the two of them stepping away from the group.

“Son, I know you must think that your mother and I are idiots – ”

Sherlock mumbled something Molly couldn’t hear.

“It’s alright,” he held up his hands, cutting off what he had been saying. “But just know that we are here for you, always.” Sherlock stared at him for a moment, a look on his face that told Molly he was trying to process an overwhelming amount of information at once.

“I know,” he said finally. She smiled as Sherlock let his father pull him into a hug, a pained expression on his face.

“Alright love, let’s get out of their hair.” Carleton turned to his wife and ushered her out of the house.

“Bye!” Mina waved to her Grandparents one last time before Molly shut the door. “Can I have a snack?” Molly nodded and watched as Mina hurried into the kitchen to dig through the snack drawer. She made for the couch but noticed Sherlock still staring out the window.

“Hey,” she whispered as she settled up to him, slipping her arms around him.

“Hi.” He turned and encircled her with his arms. Burying his nose in her hair, he breathed deep, tightening his grip on her. “I’ve missed you.” She hummed in agreement, stretching up on her tip toes to nuzzle his neck in hopes of pulling him into the present.

“What’s going on inside that brilliant head of yours?” she asked.

“Lady Smallwood…she wasn’t lying…but who…” He stood up straight, his grip on her relaxing. _You’d be amazed what a receptionist picks up. They know everything._ “Amo.”

“Sherlock?” Molly stepped back to get a better look at his face.

“I know who the English woman is.” He dug his mobile out of his pocket and started typing. “I need to…” he looked up at her. “We need to talk to Mary and John.” She smiled, but nodded her head towards Mina.

“You go – text me where.” She grabbed her own mobile, checking the charge. “I’m going to call your parents and see if they don’t mind staying another night…Tell John and Mary to bring Rosie back.”

* * *

Viola and Carleton hadn’t made it very far and quickly agreed to turn around. John had texted saying he would be there soon, but Molly couldn’t wait. As soon as they stepped inside the door, she was outside hailing a cab to take her to the London Aquarium, per Sherlock’s text.

Sherlock’s deductions were the first thing Molly could make out as she hurried through the exhibits.

“…spent all the money on that cottage, didn’t you, and what are you, widowed or divorced? Wedding ring’s at least thirty years old and you’ve moved it to another finger. That means you’re sentimentally attached to it but you’re not still married. I favor widowed, given the number of cats you share your life with.”

“Sherlock ...” Mary’s voice broke in. Molly could hear the warning in it. 

“Two Burmese and a tortoiseshell, judging by the cat hairs on your cardigan.” Sherlock and Mary were facing the small receptionist, their backs to Molly as she slowly approached, hesitant upon seeing the gun the woman held haphazardly in her hand. “A divorcee’s more likely to look for a new partner; a widow to fill the void left by her dead husband.”

“Sherlock don’t,” Molly said firmly, noting the humiliation and irritation on Vivian Norbury’s face from where she stood. 

Mary glanced at her from the corner of her eye. “John?” she whispered.

“Less than five,” she whispered back, taking slow steps until she was between Mary and Sherlock.

“Pets do that, or so I’m told, and – ” Molly grabbed his hand, interrupting his deductions.

“Maybe we could all just relax a little?” Mary said, stepping closer to Vivian. In the silence, Molly could hear Mycroft and Lestrade making their way through the dark tunnel.

“Of course you didn’t come alone,” Vivian sighed and brought the gun down to her side.

“I must admit, this is unexpected,” Mycroft said as he walked in with Lestrade and three uniformed officers on his heels.

“Mrs. Norbury, there really is no way out.” Lestrade started to approach her with his hand out stretched.

“So it would seem…” she turned to look at Sherlock. “You’ve seen right through me, Mr. Holmes,” Vivian said with almost a smile on her face.

“It’s what I do. You may have outsmarted them all…but not me.” Molly could hear the arrogance in his voice.

“Maybe I can still surprise you.” She had brought the gun up, aiming it directly at Sherlock. Everyone froze.

“Vivian, let’s be sensible here,” Lestrade said slowly.

“No, I don’t think so.” Molly watched as Vivian’s trigger finger twitched. Knowing the few precious seconds they all had, she grabbed Sherlock’s arm and yanked him back, hoping to gain a less direct hit as she heard the bang. Out of the corner of her eye she watched as Mary moved to jump in front of Sherlock, but she hadn’t been expecting his position to change so suddenly and they collided.

Mary landed on the floor, her head hitting the bench behind her. Molly dropped to her knees and started pressing on the wound. Sherlock was next to her murmuring comforting words to Mary. She grabbed the scarf from around his neck and pressed it into the open wound, a horrible gasping noise escaping Mary’s lips. This was her best friend, but she couldn’t think about that. She had to focus, had to cut it all out. Mary’s best chance was more pressure and to have gravity work for them. Molly shoved Sherlock out of the way and leaned Mary down, careful not to hit hear head again. She noticed the blood smear on the bench from Mary’s head and her mind went into hyper drive thinking about the complications that could arise from a hit that hard. 

“MARY!” John’s voice startled her from her thoughts. “Oh, god. Mary! Stay with me!” he said, taking her hand. Moments later the ambulance arrived and Mary’s pulse was weak.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost forgot to post this week! Glad I didn't forget, but I'm not going to lie to you guys, this chapter is a hard one. Thanks for sticking it out!

Molly absentmindedly twisted her engagement ring as she stared at a stain on the waiting room floor. She had attempted to engage Sherlock in a conversation, seeing the worry on his face, but he had frozen her out. He sat a few chairs away with his eyes closed, hands steelped, and fingers pressed into his lips – she wasn’t sure she wanted to know what he was thinking about.

“Do you want me to get you anything?” she asked John, tapping him lightly on the arm. He looked awful and was having a hard time sitting still.

“No, I’m okay.” He shook his head and brought his hands up, rubbing his eyes. “I think I might need to stretch my legs though.” He stood up and slid his jacket on. 

“Do you want me to – ” Molly was interrupted as part of Mary’s treatment team came into the waiting room.

“Dr. Watson?” John’s back went ridged at the woman’s tone.

“Yes?” Molly watched as he clenched and unclenched his hands at his side. She quickly stood up and grabbed his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Sherlock slowly stood and moved to John’s other side, his own hands in his coat pockets.

The woman looked between Molly and Sherlock and swallowed hard.

“Dr. Watson, maybe we should speak in private?” she suggested.

“We’re Mary’s family, how much more private should it be?” his voice was hard and Molly could tell he was struggling not to come undone. The woman gave him a small nod and continued.

“There were some complications during surgery and she lost a lot of blood. We were able to get the bleeding to stop but Mary was having a hard time breathing on her own.” John’s grip on Molly’s hand tightened. “To help her heal, and keep her comfortable while intubated, we have her heavily sedated.”

“When will you be able to stop the sedation?” Molly asked, afraid of the answer she already knew.

“I am not going to try and give you false hope – you three know better than anyone what a bullet wound and head trauma can do to someone…I am very sorry, but we are unsure when Mary will wake up.”

The three of them stood outside of Mary’s room, unmoving.

 _Maybe I can still surprise you._ Images of Mary’s pale face and bright red blood ran through Sherlock’s mind as Vivian’s voice played on a loop. His jaw was clenched and his hands were balled into fists as his desire to drown out the images and voices surged.

“Do you want us to give you a minute?” Molly asked quietly, interrupting Sherlock’s inner breakdown. John silently shook his head and pushed the door open.

Sherlock hesitated a moment before following them into the room. His senses were immediately overwhelmed. The noises from the multiple machines pounded in his ears. The sterile smell of the room and fresh dressings burned his nose. He reached out and gripped the counter as he watched John fall apart, his heavy sobs in discord with the machines’ whirling.

Molly let her tears slide down her face silently as she watched John cling to Mary. She knew he didn’t want them to leave, but stepped back to give him room. Turning to Sherlock, she froze. He was pale and shaking, tears rimming his eyes.

“Sherlock…” she reached out towards him, but he jerked his head no.

“I…I can’t…I…” he mumbled as he turned away from her and moved out of the door.

“Sherlock, wait,” she pleaded as she followed him. “Just stop.” She jogged to catch up with him, grabbing him by the arm. “I know this is hard, but – ” she looked up into his blood shot eyes and instinctively stopped. He was on the edge and if she couldn’t get him back she wasn’t sure what would happen.

She wiped away her tears and took a deep breath before stepped towards him slowly, lacing her fingers with his. He was still shaking and his breathing was quick.

“Sherlock, please, don’t run from this.” His jaw tightened. “The three of us are going to need each other to get through this.” His nostrils flared but his breathing started to regulate. “John and Rosie are going to need us to be strong for them.” She reached her hand up and laid it on his face. “Mary is going to need us to be strong.” He flinched at her name. “Sherlock, let me in.” He squeezed his eyes shut, but leaned into her touch.

“I did this,” he whispered. Molly’s words failed her and Sherlock’s eyes shot open, hurt and guilt in them.

“No.”

“I..I did…” he stepped back, his breathing increased again.

“No, Sherlock,” Molly gripped his hand tighter, “Vivian Norbury did this.”

“Because of me…” he pulled his hand away and stumbled backwards. “I can’t…”

“Yes you can.” She reached for him, but he was still moving away from her. “Just take a deep breath…we can work through this.” Tears were streaming down her face again. “Sherlock, please.” But he was shaking his head and heading for the stairs. “Just wait…we can talk this out!” He sped up as he raced down the stairs. “Sherlock, stop!” she leaned over the balcony railing, crying, knowing it was no use.

* * *

Molly had been grateful when Viola and Carleton had offered to stay to help out while things were settling down. She was also grateful six weeks later when they packed up and went home. She loved her in-laws and was beyond thankful for the help they had been to her and John, but she needed her home and routine back desperately. John himself had only gone back to work two weeks ago and Molly had been filling in the gaps with Rosie for him, but he had seemed to have worked them out and for the last three days Molly’s house was starting to feel extremely small.

She hadn’t spoken directly to Sherlock since he fled the hospital. He had texted her a few hours afterwards simply to let her know that he was alive but had then gone radio silent for five days straight until showing up at Baker Street high as a kite and passing out in the stairway. Mrs. Hudson had phoned her, but Molly couldn’t bring herself to go to him then. She still hadn’t seen him since, but every few days he texted her to see how she and Mina were doing.

She hadn’t heard from him in a couple of days, making her tense. As she stood in line waiting for her coffee she checked her phone every few seconds, worried she would miss a text from him.

“Molly?” the barista called. She stepped through the crowd of people and took her cup, heading for the exit.

“Thank you,” she added as an afterthought and turned her attention back towards the counter, but the barista was already busy with the next drink. “Ohf!” She hadn’t been paying attention to where she was walking and had slammed into another customer.

“I’m so sorry!” The woman looked in horror at the spilled coffee all over the ground and up Molly’s pant legs.

Molly tried to take a deep breath to calm herself but instead made a loud gasping noise.

“Its fine!” she whispered forcefully, tears starting to fall down her face.

“Oh…oh, no.” The woman paused a moment before gently gliding Molly into a booth and getting her napkins to clean up her pants and shoes. “I’m going to get you another coffee.”

“No, no, no.” Molly attempted to stop the woman but she was already at the counter. She watched in embarrassment as a young woman cleaned up the coffee, stealing curious glances at Molly.

A few moments later the woman came back with a fresh cup and a kind smile.

“They put a rush on it.” She put the cup down and slid into the booth. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but are you okay?” Molly couldn’t help the strangled giggle that escaped her mouth.

“Honestly, I don’t know.”

“Honesty?” The woman took a sip of her own coffee and smiled. Molly frowned, noting the familiarity in her eyes. “In my experience, most people don’t do honesty.”

“It’s not always the easiest,” Molly pointed out.

“True.” The woman reached her hand across the table. “I’m Ellie.”

“Molly.” She took her hand and shook it. “I’m, I’m sorry, but have we met before?” she asked as she wiggled in her seat.

“No, don’t think so.” Ellie took a sip of her coffee. “Maybe I just have one of those faces.”

Molly had spent her entire lunch break talking with Ellie and had almost been late back to work in order to schedule a proper coffee break. She felt lighter when she got back to the morgue and hadn’t realized until she was placing it in her office that she hadn’t checked her mobile once. She smiled to herself as she placed the phone on her desk without checking the notifications.

* * *

Not even three days later she stood at the bottom of Baker Street’s stairs. She put one foot on the bottom step and gripped the railing as a memory of two years ago flashed in her mind. She had come that night wanting an explanation, some kind of reasoning for his behaviors. Today she wanted the opposite. She wanted to run home, to protect herself and her daughter.

 _Love is hard_. The words that had been driving her two years ago came back to her again and she put her foot on the next step. And the next. And the next. Until she was standing outside his flat, her hand resting on the handle.

The door suddenly swung open, causing her to jump.

“Oh. Molly.” Sherlock gripped the door handle tightly as he stared at her. His curls were still damp and she could smell his shampoo. He was wearing comfortable clothing, as opposed to his regular suit and jacket combo, but she was relieved to see they were clean.

“Hi, Sherlock.” She gripped the strap of her purse tightly, trying to hold herself together.

They stood staring at each other a moment longer before Sherlock broke the silence.

“Mrs. Hudson just brought up tea…would you like some?” He opened the door further and waved her inside.

“I’m fine, thank you.” She sat down in John’s chair, not bothering to take off her jacket – a gesture that she was sure Sherlock noted. He nodded and sat down across of her, folding his slightly shaking hands, and clasping them tightly together. “Your text said that you wanted to talk.” His brow creased in frustration. Not at her, she thought, but at himself.

“Yes.” He straightened his shoulders. “I miss you and Willamina.” Molly waited, unsure if he had more to say. “And…and I would very much like to see her.”

Molly stared at him blankly, counting slowly to five in her head in an effort to calm herself.

“I don’t think that is a good idea.” She swallowed hard and looked down at her hands, her knuckles now white. “She shouldn’t see you like this.” Sherlock looked away, a grim expression on his face.

“It’s just that it has been over a month since – ”

“And whose fault is that?” Molly snapped, unable to stop herself. He looked back up at her, shocked by her outburst. “Mina didn’t run away from her problems! I didn’t grab a needle when I wanted the pain to stop!” She felt her face flush as all of her guilty thoughts tumbled out of her mouth. “We didn’t turn our backs on our family!” She sat on the edge of her seat, chest heaving as she breathed deeply.

Sherlock stared wide eyed at her, hurt shining on his face, his usual façade completely gone. He closed his eyes and took a raged breath.

“I have not been the man that either of you deserve, but as you once told me I am her father and – ”

“You’re a junkie who gets high when things get hard!” Molly hated herself the second the words left her mouth, but she couldn’t take them back. Tears were falling down her face as she scrambled to put her thoughts together. “I have to go,” she said standing up quickly. With her hand on the door she whispered, “She shouldn’t have to see you as a shadow of the man that you used to be.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains smut - skip words styled in block quote if still interested in reading but want to skip the sex

Molly hadn’t slept well that night. Or the following night. Or the night after that. She checked her mobile routinely throughout the day, keeping it in her pocket at all times, hoping that Sherlock would reach out. But he didn’t. And she couldn’t blame him.

“Well, I fucked things up big time,” she sighed as she sat down next to Mary’s bed. She was on the verge of a break down and she needed her best friend. She had started visiting Mary once a week at first and then it was twice a week. Recently it had been almost every day. “I said things I can’t take back.” She reached over and moved the flowers that were next to Mary’s bed – John brought new ones every so often. Mary would have thought they were silly had she been awake, but she would have smiled at her husband, thankful for the kind gesture. “I’ve probably ruined the relationship with the only man I have ever loved.” Sighing again she sat forward, elbows on knees, and chin in hand. “I mean, he has been a right moron…” a tear slid down her cheek. “You know,” she whispered, grasping Mary’s hand in both of hers, “I really could use my best friend right now.”

The sting of hot tears to her eyes forced her to squeeze them shut. Her body shook has she inhaled, a rasping sound as she came undone, sobbing. She pressed her forehead to Mary’s hand and cried into the hospital sheets.

* * *

_You’re a junkie who gets high when things get hard!_

When the words had left Molly’s lips, Sherlock had been shocked but he had been given no time to react before she had gone. He had been left in his empty apartment, still going through withdrawal, with a new whole in his heart. He wanted to be mad at her – to be angry with her judgment but he couldn’t. He had done this. He had messed up. He _was_ a junkie who got high when things got hard.

What was the point now of trying to crawl his way out of the pit? No one needed him. Molly and Mina were better off without him. John had Rosie to take care of. And Mary wouldn’t be in a coma if it weren’t for him.

At least, that’s what his told himself as he reached for the needle that was next to him.

* * *

“And I haven’t heard from him since then,” Molly sighed before popping another chip in her mouth. Ellie stared at her intently. “Sorry.” She flushed and fidgeted in her chair. “I’ve spent all this time talking about my problems and have barely let you get a word in.” Ellie smiled at her.

“Nothing to apologize for.” She waved a hand and readjusted in her chair. “Sounds like you did what you needed to do for you and Mina.”

“I just hope it was the right thing to do.”

“Do you still love him?” Ellie’s question caught her off guard and Molly paused. “Sorry, maybe that’s too personal.”

“Oh, no.” Molly shook her head – after everything she had just shared, her question was not _too personal_. “You’re question just threw me because of course I still love him…” She gave a sad sigh. “I will always love him…but with the way we have been acting towards each other lately, we don’t have the right to say that to each other right now.”

* * *

Christmas was usually a hard time for Molly and this year was no exception. Unfortunately, Mina was used to Sherlock’s inconsistency, so the lack of his presence during the Holiday did not seem to deter her mood. Her in-laws had invited them out to their house, but Molly had declined. The last time they had been there was when Sherlock made a decision by himself that changed their lives. Instead she and Mina, along with John and Rosie, spent three days at Lestrade’s over the Holiday; he had been happy to have them and spoiled the girls.

A new year meant a new beginning. And for Molly she had been hoping to push the redo button, but after she had talked with John, she wasn’t sure if that was possible. She hadn’t talked with Sherlock since she had visited Baker Street but if John’s report was anything close to the real thing, Sherlock was not in a good place.

It was his birthday and Mina had gotten him a present. Molly had been planning on dropping it in the mail but when she woke up on the sixth and still saw it sitting on his dresser, she knew she needed to take it to him. She called Mycroft and arranged for him to take Mina overnight as she knew that no matter what happened when she saw Sherlock, she would be emotional afterwards.

“Hi.” His voice held genuine surprise. His hair was a mess, but his clothes looked clean and from what she could see the flat wasn’t a complete disaster. What worried her most was how thin he was and the dark circles under his eyes. “I wasn’t expecting anyone today.”

“Mina wanted to make sure you got this on your birthday.” She gently shook the present in her hand, but Sherlock didn’t move. “Would it be okay if I came in for a minute?”

He stepped back, waving her inside.

“Would you like some tea?” he asked after staring at her for a moment. He didn’t wait for the answer before heading to the kitchen.

“Got anything stronger?” she asked lightly, but realized the implications based on who she was talking to and cleared her throat. “No tea, thank you.” She sat down and watched him put the kettle back. “So, any cases?”

“Not at the moment.” He sat down across from her and an awkward silence settled over them. “How’s work?”

\--

Sherlock had never cared for small talk and even less so when it had been a while since his last high. Nevertheless, he sat and listened as Molly talked about the hospital because at the moment there were only two things in the world that would be able to satisfy the craving that he was feeling and he knew it wasn’t in the box from Mina.

After twenty minutes of forced conversation, Sherlock felt his panic rise when Molly looked at her watch.

“Well, I should probably get going,” she said standing up. _No, no, no, no, no._

“Going to get Mina from Kathy’s?” His words were rushed as he stood up as well and he could feel the tension building as he feared her leaving.

“Uh…” she hesitated, looking at him. _Mina’s not with Kathy._ “Actually she’s spending the night with Mycroft.” She brushed her hair over her shoulder, unintentionally giving him a view of her neck. _Or intentionally…_ “But I could use the time to catch up on…laundry.” _You don’t even believe that._

Words were going to fail him, so he kept his mouth shut as he walked towards her. He was slow with his movements but deliberate and she had every chance to tell him no or to stop.

\--

> “But I could use the time to catch up on…laundry,” Molly finished lamely, knowing that all she had waiting for her at home was an empty house and a carton of ice cream.
> 
> She watched as Sherlock walked towards her – she knew what he wanted and she would be lying if she said she didn’t want it to. She missed him in every way you could miss another person and while this might not be the Sherlock Holmes she wanted, this was the Sherlock Holmes she could have.
> 
> So when he stopped mere inches away from her, instead of stepping back she dropped her purse and slipped her coat off. He stared intensely at her as she slowly pulled her jumper over her head and toed her shoes off. Untucking her blouse, she undid her belt and pushed her trousers off her hips and to the floor, sliding them away with her foot.
> 
> He closed the gap between them and when he went to kiss her, she lifted her chin, allowing him access to her pulse point. He ran his teeth over her skin and she threaded her fingers through his hair, securing his lips there. He hoisted her up roughly and she moaned as she settled against his erection as he carried her to the bedroom. Dropping her on the bed, he pulled his shirt off and slipped out of his lounge pants as she quickly unbuttoned her blouse and took off her bra.
> 
> Without hesitation, Molly ran her hand over the tip of his cock and stroked him several times before leaning in and taking him in her mouth.
> 
> “Ohh..” he exhaled raggedly and reached down, wrapping his fingers around her ponytail. She ran her nails down his hips and thighs, causing him to hiss and worked her tongue around the tip like she knew he liked before slowly sliding her teeth over his length. Slowly pulling her head back, she looked up to see him watching her, his eyes dark with hunger. As she moved up and down his length, she hummed and felt his legs wobble. He moaned and tightened his grip on her hair, his eyes closed tightly and she could tell he was close. She wrapped her hand around the shaft of his penis and focused her tongue and teeth at the tip causing a string of unintelligible words to leave his mouth. Suddenly, he pulled away from her lips and dropped to the floor, sitting in front of her on his knees. 
> 
> “Wha – ” He hooked her knee over his shoulder and leaned down to lick up her arousal. “Fuuck,” she sighed and fell back on the bed, pinching her nipple hard as he worked his fingers inside of her.

\--

Molly traced the track lines on his forearm, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to pore over. Taking a shaky breath she closed her eyes as a few tears rolled down her cheeks. She pulled the covers back and slipped out of bed, doing her best not to wake him as she dressed quickly. She found a piece of paper in the kitchen and scribbled a note, leaving it on the bedside table for him. Clutching her purse tightly to her body she watched him sleep for another minute before forcing herself to take one step. Then two. And another. And then she was closing the door to his flat and fleeing down the stairs.

\--

Sherlock heard the latch click and moaned. When he reached his hands out, he found nothing but a cold, empty spot beside him. He pulled her pillow to his face and inhaled deeply, letting her sent fill his senses. Opening his eyes, he blinked against the harsh morning light and something on the table caught his attention. He sat up and slowly reached out, hoping it wasn’t what he thought it was. His fingertips brushed against the cold metal and his heart sank. Picking up the note, he read it. Then read it again, tracing the words with his fingers.

_i can’t do this anymore_

_molly_

The note slipped from his hand as he picked up her engagement ring and stared at it, the diamonds sparkling in the sunlight. He stood up quickly and went to his drawers, digging through them frantically. Finally he pulled out a long chain and slipped the ring on it before slipping it over his head. He fell back into bed and grabbed her pillow, lifting it to his nose, but her sent was already fading.

* * *

“Mummy!” Mina sang as she ran down the stairs.

“Hi sweetie!” Molly tried to force the smile to reach her eyes but knew the minute she looked at Mycroft she had not succeeded. “Did you have fun with Uncle Myke?”

“Yes!” She gave a large dramatic jump from the last step. “Can I spend the night here more often?”

“As often as Uncle Myke wants you to.” Molly reached out and gave her a _boop_ on the nose. “Come on, get your coat.”

“What is it?” he asked quietly enough for Mina not to hear.

“Nothing.” She gave him a tight smile and shook her head. “Thank you for watching her…..are you ready?”

“Yup!” Mina bounced out the front door. “Bye Uncle Myke!”

“What’s wrong?” He grabbed her elbow, stopping her from leaving.

“Please don’t,” she whispered. He loosened his grip and slid his hand down her arm, grasping her fingers. “I…I’m done, Mycroft.” Tears were freely flowing down her cheeks now.

“Molly?” He looked down at her hand in his, the slight impression of her engagement ring still on her finger.

“It’s over.”

\--

Mycroft was still standing in the open door as Molly’s car pulled out of his drive. He hadn’t wanted this for her. Maybe a year ago, but not now and certainly not in this way. Molly had been through so much, a few things of his own making, and she did not deserve this. His brother was lost, drowning, and he wasn’t sure there was anything that could be done.

But he had to try.

Turning on his heal he pulled his mobile out of his pocket and selected the contact.

“John, I need you to meet me at Baker Street….I know….I don’t care……I’ll see you in twenty minutes….I said twenty minutes!”

\--

“Are you sure he’s not dead or overdosing?” Mycroft’s voice was fuzzy in Sherlock’s ears. He tried to open his eyes but they felt glued shut.

“Do you have a medical degree?” Sherlock heard John snap. He wanted to comment, to make a witty comeback at the expense of his brother, but his throat was on fire and his mouth was dry. “No, he is not dead, but he probably wishes he was, judging by his arms.”

“Noidon,” he finally mumbled.

“See, it speaks,” John scoffed.

Sherlock forced his eyes open and blinked several times in an attempt to get John and Mycroft into focus.

“Here.” Mycroft shoved a glass of water into his hand. “Drink.” He didn’t argue. “The three of us need to talk.” Mycroft pushed a pile of things onto the floor and sat in Sherlock’s chair; John did the same with his chair.

“M’seat.” He nodded to Mycroft.

“Not today.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stick around?” Ellie asked.

“Oh, I definitely _want_ you to stick around,” Molly folded her napkin in half again, “But I promised not only John, but Mycroft and Lestrade too, that I would come alone.”

“Alright.” Ellie grabbed her purse and stood up. “If you need to talk later, call me.”

“I will,” Molly promised. She sighed as soon as Ellie was gone and pushed the pastry that she had bought her away. She had no appetite at the moment and was worried if she tried to force herself to eat anything else her nerves might get the better of her.

Over a month ago Molly had left Baker Street thinking it would be months before she would see Sherlock again, but John had called her a week ago, asking her to consider talking with him. She had hung up on him then. That night he and Rosie had shown up at her house to make the request in person.

_“I don’t want you to forget everything that has happened…I just think that you should talk to him because Mina deserves to have her father in her life.”_

Two days later Lestrade had caught her in the morgue while she was mid-autopsy.

_“We aren’t asking you to let him move back it…just talk with him.”_

But it had been Mycroft who had surprised her at lunch the next day.

_“You know that I have not always been the biggest fan of my brother, but Molly, I promise you that something is different this time around. I’ve never seen him take a program as seriously as he is taking this one…nor have I ever seen him be so emotional wracked over a relationship that he has broken.”_

She didn’t know what she was expecting from Sherlock today, but she knew what she was willing to give.

“Thank you for meeting me.” His voice was unusually quiet but he looked much better than the last time she had seen him. His hair and clothes were both clean and neat. He looked like he had put on a few pounds and the circles under his eyes were almost gone.

“Please sit.” She waved to the seat across from her. “Coffee? Tea?” she asked, hoping to calm her nerves.

He shook his head as he sat and to Molly’s surprise he didn’t waste any time getting to the point of his visit.

“I know that I have no right to ask you for anything. I have let you and Willamina down in more ways than I can count.” He paused and swallowed hard, adjusting his suit jacket. “Your trust is something that I took for granted and it will take a long time to build it back…all I am asking for is the ability to see my daughter.”

Molly grabbed her tea and took a sip, buying her time to think of a calm response.

“Legally Sherlock, I have no obligation to let you see Mina.”

“I wasn’t there when she was born,” he responded. “And we never did anything to make it legal when I came home.”

“No we didn’t.” She took a shaky breath. “I am trying to hold it all together…I’ve been holding everyone together since Mary got shot!” she hissed. “Where were you Sherlock?...Where were you?” His jaw clenched and she knew he was trying to keep his calm façade, not wanting to break down in public. “I thought I could do this…but I can’t.” Molly started to gather her things as tears sprang to her eyes, remembering his birthday. _How could I have been so stupid?_

“Please, wait.” His voice was strained as he grabbed her wrist. “I just…” his voice faltered and he dropped his gaze down. “Can I work my way back to seeing her…start by talking with her on the phone?”

She paused and then sat her stuff back down in the booth. This wasn’t just about her and Sherlock, this was about protecting Mina and making sure her life was good. Would she be as happy without her father in the picture? No. She would hate it.

Molly nodded her head.

“Okay. We can start with phone calls.”

A genuine smile broke out on Sherlock’s face.

“Thank you, Molly.”

“This is your last chance, Sherlock…you mess up this time and I don’t know if there is any coming back.”

* * *

Over the next month Molly stuck to a strict call schedule with Sherlock, only allowing him to call her at certain times. She was worried that as the month wore on he would miss calls, but he never did. Knowing that Mina wanted more talk time, she allowed him to start calling daily.

“Done talking with your dad already?” Molly asked as Mina brought her phone back to her – it hadn’t been more than five minutes since he had call.

“He says he needs to talk to you.” She handed her the phone and climbed up on the bed, snuggling next to Molly’s side.

“Mina said you wanted to talk with me?” she asked as casually as she could.

“Yes, a case has come up and it is taking John and I out of town for a couple of days. I explained to Mina that while I am gone, I will most likely not be able to make our evening calls.”

“Thank you for letting us know…is John bringing Rosie with him?” she was shocked that he hadn’t asked her to babysit.

“Mrs. Hudson is watching her.” He paused and she could tell there was more.

“Sherlock?” She was doing her best to have a respectful relationship with him for Mina’s sake, but emotionally it was still a struggle.

“There was a bit of an explosion at Baker Street, but everyone is okay.”

“There was what?!” she cried in surprise.

“Small explosion. That’s why we are heading out of town; we need to wrap up this case.”

Taking a shaky breath, Molly let it out slowly. She wanted to ask more, inquire if he was truly okay, if he needed anything, but this was no longer their relationship.

“I’m glad everyone is safe…Mina will talk to you when you get back.”

* * *

“Thank you, Kathy.” Molly hugged her nanny tightly as Mina was getting ready. “She has been begging to see this for months.”

“No problem.” Kathy stepped back and swung her purse up on her shoulder. “Are you all set?”

“YES!” Mina shouted as she ran from the living room. “By mum!”

“Hey!” Molly reached down and pulled Mina back by her arm. “Be good for Kathy!”

“I will!”

“I love you.” Molly planted a kiss on her cheek.

“I love you too.” Mina dramatically wiped the kiss off, but gave Molly a cheeky smile.

“Have fun.” Molly waved at the two as they walked down the sidewalk. She closed the door with a heavy sigh and leaned on it, soaking in the silence. “Okay.” She pushed off the door and dug in her purse, pulling out a little pink box.

* * *

_EURUS: Now, back to the matter in hand. Coffin. Problem: someone is about to die. It will be – as I understand it – a tragedy. So many days not lived, so many words unsaid…Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.  
SHERLOCK: Yes, yes, yes, and this – I presume – will be their coffin.  
EURUS: Whose coffin, Sherlock? Please, start your deductions. I will apply some context in a moment.  
SHERLOCK: Well, allowing for the entirely pointless courtesy of headroom, I’d say this coffin is intended for someone of about five foot four. Makes it more likely to be a woman.  
JOHN: Not a child?  
SHERLOCK: A child’s coffin would be more expensive. This is in the lower price range, although still best available in that bracket.  
JOHN: A lonely night on Google  
SHERLOCK: This is a practical and informed choice. Balance of probability suggests that this is for an unmarried woman distant from her close relatives. That much is suggested by the economy of choice. Acquainted with the process of death but unsentimental about the necessity of…_

Sherlock trailed off, still staring at the coffin. _Please no!_ He looked back up at Eurus on the screen, trying his hardest to read his sister.

“Sherlock,” Mycroft said quietly. John and he turned, seeing him holding the lid. “There’s a name plate…only it isn’t a name.” He slowly turned the lid towards Sherlock. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered as Sherlock took in the words that were etched on the gold plate.

I LOVE YOU

Sherlock inhaled sharply and closed his eyes tightly. His grip on the gun was so tight that his fingers were starting to tingle and his heart beat was pounding in his ears. 

“Where are they?!” Sherlock’s eyes shot open as he spun around. “WHERE ARE THEY!” he shouted again.

“Perfectly safe, for the moment.” Eurus switched the screen showing four angles of their home. He could see Molly leaning heavily on the kitchen counter, but Mina was nowhere in sight. “Your little home is rigged to explode in approximately three minutes…”

“EURUS!” Sherlock shouted at her. “This is about you and me – leave them out of it!”

“Three minutes, Sherlock.” Eurus switched the screen back to her as she snapped at him. “Make her say it.”

“She broke off our engagement…why would she say that?!” he bit out, unable to regulate the tidal wave of emotions he was feeling. 

“Are you to have me believe that Miss Hooper no longer cares for you? No longer, loves you?” He watched as Eurus raised an eyebrow. How could he convince her of something that he did not believe himself?

Taking several deep breaths he raised his head and tensed his jaw, looking her in the eye.

“Three minutes.” Eurus switched the screen back to Molly who was still leaning on the counter. “Unless I hear the release code from her lips. Now, I’m calling her on your phone, Sherlock. Make her say it.”

Sherlock took an uneasy breath and squared his shoulders.

“Oh, one important restriction: you’re not allowed to mention in any way at all that her life is in danger. You may not – at any point – suggest that there is any form of crisis. If you do, I will end this session and her life. Are we clear?”

Sherlock gave a curt nod as the speed dial rang out. Moriarty’s voice came from the speakers, _Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock_.

* * *

She stared down at the three tests in her hands and tried to wrap her mind around her current situation. _Pregnant._ She dropped the tests in the trash, unable to look at them anymore. She walked to the kitchen and turned the kettle on, setting out a cup and grabbing a lemon. She rested her elbows on the edge of the sink and looked out the window, waiting for the water to boil.

“What are we going to do?” Molly whispered, gripping the back of her neck.

The sound of her mobile ringing startled her. She looked over at the counter, catching the name on the front of her phone, _Sherlock_. Sighing heavily, she left it on the counter ringing and started slicing up the lemon. She glanced impatiently at her phone again, it was too early for his and Mina’s call and she was surprised that he was home so soon. She started to doctor her cup up the way she liked it when it finally went to voice mail – she could have Mina call him back later. She groaned as it started ringing again. She finished squeezing the lemon into her cup and slammed it down on the cutting board before wiping her hands off on the towel.

“Hello, Sherlock. Is this urgent, ‘cause I’m not having a good day.” She hugged her arm tightly over her body.

“Is Mina home?” he asked, his tone tense. Molly sighed – he had been doing so well with their schedule.

“She’s with Kathy – I’ll have her call you when she gets home.” She went to hang up, her finger hovering over the end button.

“NO! Molly! Wait!” he shouted at her.

“What is it?” she asked, annoyed. She started cleaning up her tea things, waiting for him to answer, but he was silent. “Sherlock, what is it? What do you want?”

“I need you to do something for me.”

“I think you’ve run out of favors, Sherlock.” Molly slammed the cupboard closed.

“I know…but just, Molly, please.”

“I can’t do this with you right now.” She pulled her phone away from her face, trying to hang up again.

“Molly, no, please, no, don’t hang up! Do not hang up!” he yelled, the urgency in his voice making her heart squeeze.

“What do you want? Why can’t you just leave me alone?” She let out a sob and a tear rolled down her cheek. “I already told you, I can’t do this anymore.”

“I know,” he sounded defeated, “but I…I care about you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” she bit out. 

“I don’t deserve you.”

“You don’t have me,” she reminded him. There was a long pause as she waited for his response.

“Do you still care for me?” Her shoulders fell forward at his question.

“Of course I do, Sherlock…how could I not?” She wiped at the tears on her face.

“Then tell me.”

“Sherlock…I can’t,” her voice was soft. She looked down at her feet, wondering where he was. “But…but I would be willing to meet and talk…we should talk. There’s something I need – ”

“Tell me,” he said again, cutting her off.

She licked her dry lips and took a deep breath.

“Of course I do…I always will.”

“Why can’t you say it then?”

“You know why – ”

“I love you.” She froze at his words. He hadn’t said it in over a year and she wasn’t prepared to hear him say it again. “I love you, Molly.”

She couldn’t stop the laugh that burst from her lips.

“You bastard!” she said with a sad smile.

“Molly, please just say it!”

“Those words mean something to me, Sherlock!” She wiped the last of the tears from her face.

“They mean something to me too!”

“Then why are you doing this?” She was tired and ready for this conversation to end.

“Molly, please!”

“No, Sherlock. I can’t say that to you, not right now.”

“Please! Molly! Please!” he sounded desperate. “Molly, just say it! I need you to – ” The connection was cut and all Molly could hear was dead air on the other end.

* * *

“Molly, just say it! I need you to say it!” The countdown clock clicked to 0:00 and the view of his home was cut. “No, no!” Sherlock grabbed the sides of the TV. “NO! EURUS! NO! BRING HER BACK! EURUS!!!”

“Oh my god!” John and Mycroft’s responses barely registered with Sherlock.

“EURUS! BRING HER BACK RIGHT NOW! DON’T..YOU CAN’T!” His lungs burned as he yelled at his sister. “EURUS I WILL – ” Her face popped back up on the TV cutting him off.

“Do be sensible, Sherlock. There were no explosives in your little house. Why would I be so clumsy?”

Sherlock stepped back from the TV, still breathing hard, tears streaming down his face. The screen changed, showing Molly holding her phone. Sherlock watched as she dropped it and buried her face in her hands.

“Wh-what?” He blinked several times as he tried to process the information he was taking in. “I – I don’t…” he took a few steps backwards, dropping the pistol and watching Molly shake on the screen.

“There was no need to plant explosives.” Eurus popped back on the screen. “Look what you did to her. Look what you did to yourself.” Sherlock turned away from her as she talked. “All those complicated little emotions. I lost count. Emotional context, Sherlock, it destroys you every time.”

Sherlock walked past the coffin, staring at the lid, and ignoring Eurus’s voice. He gripped the lid tightly, picking it up, and brought his head down to rest on the three little words, closing his eyes.

John and Mycroft exchanged quiet looks as Sherlock stood stone still. They both jerked slightly when Sherlock straightened up suddenly. He carefully put the lid on the coffin and rested his hand on top. He gave a tired, almost angry sob, as he drew his hand over the surface.

“Sherlock?” John asked as he took a step towards him.

“No. No!” he muttered before pounding his fists into the wood.

* * *

She looked at her phone, worry rising in the back of her mind.

“Sherlock?” she asked, knowing he wasn’t there. “Sherlock?!” Her hand flew to her stomach, bunching up her jumper. “Damn it!” She dropped her mobile on the counter and buried her face in her hands as she started to shake. A sob ripped from her chest, leaving her throat raw.

Her mobile rang again and she grabbed at it hoping it was Sherlock, but the caller id read _Lestrade_.

“Hi Greg,” she took a steadying breath, “what can I do for you?”

“She’s awake.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter does not contain smut...but very intimate kissing and touching.......(I guess that's what I'm going to call it)

Molly slowly stepped out of the car, her heart thumping in her chest. Lestrade had not told her anything about Mary’s condition, he simply told her that she needed to get down to the hospital right then. As she walked through the halls, she felt her surrounding melt away as she concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other.

“Molly!” Lestrade looked beyond relieved when he saw her. “I can’t get a hold of John or Sherlock. I’ve even tried Mycroft several times as well.”

“They’re out of town on a case.” Her words were hollow as she stared at the room behind him. “Is she…does she…” He grabbed her shoulders, shaking her out of it.

“She’s okay, go see her. I’ll keep calling.” He gave her a smile and pushed her towards the open door.

There she was. Sitting up like nothing had happened. Like the last several months hadn’t passed.

“Hi,” she whispered as tears welled up in her eyes.

“Hi.” Mary smiled brightly and held out her arms.

No longer trying to hold back the emotions of the day she let her tears fall and she collapsed into Mary’s lap, holding her tightly. Her body shook as she sobbed and Mary simply held her, rubbing her back and whispering calming words over and over. They stayed like that for a long time, until Molly’s tears had stopped falling and she felt exhausted from the tidal wave of emotions.

“I’ve missed you,” Molly said as she sat up, wiping at her face with the sleeve of her jumper.

“I feel like there’s a lot you need to tell me.” She squeezed Molly’s empty ring finger as she spoke. “Start with telling me where you got this horrendous jumper…I need to make a call to get that store shut down.”

Molly couldn’t stop that laugh that escaped her lips.

“It can wait,” she said with a sigh.

“Is John going to be showing up any time soon?” Mary asked with a knowing look.

“They are out of town on a case and Lestrade was having a hard time reaching them,” Molly admitted.

“So, I think we have time…what’s been going on?”

* * *

“You ready?” Molly asked. Mary gave a small nod so Molly reached for the door handle.

“WAIT!” She turned and looked back at her best friend. “What if she doesn’t recognize me and starts crying as soon as I hold her?” Her own eyes shone with unshed tears.

“Don’t worry,” Molly walked back over and took Mary’s hand, “We’ve all been taking turns to bring her here to visit, telling her about you, and reminding her that you’re her mother…she will be delighted to see you.”

“Okay.” Mary nodded once. Molly opened the hospital door and waved Mrs. Hudson in, who was carrying Rosie in her arms. “Oh, baby.” She held her hands up to her mouth as the tears silently slid down her cheeks.

“Look who it is Rosie…who is that?” Mrs. Hudson asked as she pointed at Mary.

“Ma ma ma ma ma,” Rosie squealed as she reached out her little hands.

“My little Rose.” Mary gathered her daughter in her arms and held her tight, pressing kisses to her head. “You’re so big.”

\--

“Molly?” Lestrade stood in the doorway looking uncomfortable.

“I’ll be right back.” Molly patted Mary’s arm before retreating to the hallway. “What is it now?”

“It’s not good…” he trailed off and Molly could feel her chest tighten. “Oh, no, they’re fine,” he assured her after seeing the look on her face. “Sherlock, John, and Mycroft are all fine, but it’s a mess and I have to go get them.”

“What happened?” she asked as her heart rate returned to normal.

“Long lost family…I think it would be best if you hear it from Sherlock…or even Mycroft because I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around it.” He grabbed her in a tight a hug.

“Greg?”

“I think we need to be thankful that they are okay.” He stepped back. “I am going to get them and I will have them here by tomorrow morning…make sure she gets some rest tonight.”

“I will.”

* * *

Molly and Mina took Rosie home while Mary got some sleep, promising to return first thing in the morning. Molly didn’t get much sleep that night, her mind racing constantly.

If Sherlock was on a case, with family, why did he call her? Why did he want her to say those words? What was so difficult for Lestrade to understand? And why in the hell hadn’t Ellie responded to her texts?

* * *

“You’re picking at your nail polish,” Mary pointed out.

“I think I’m allowed to over think right now.” She turned away from the window and sat down. “I’m glad Kathy was available today.”

“Small talk?” Mary asked with a raised brow. Molly huffed as she gave her best friend a pointed look.

“Why would he call and ask me to say that?”

“You might actually have to talk with your fiancé to figure that out.” She patted Molly’s arm.

“I told you, I broke it off. Gave the ring back.” Molly pointed to her empty ringer finger.

“Formalities.” Mary waved a hand. “You two are forever.”

“And you are delusional!” she laughed and walked back to the window.

“Seriously, you two just need to have it out and move on…OH! Grab your phone!” Mary pointed to the counter.

Molly hurried over and picked it up.

“Lestrade says they’re here.”

“Finally,” Mary breathed, a smile on her face. “What is it?” she asked when she saw the look Molly was making.

“I just hope they’re okay.”

Mary held her hand out and Molly walked back to take it.

“They’re our Baker Street Boys, aren’t they?”

Molly nodded and forced a smile.

“Mary!” They’re heads snapped to the doorway where John stood breathing heavily. “Oh my god, Mary!” He rushed to her bed and took her face in his hands, tears of relief streaming down his checks.

“Hi – ” she started to say but John cut her off with a kiss.

Molly smiled at her best friends and turned away to give them space. Stepping out into the hall she found Lestrade leaning against the wall.

“Where’s Sherlock?” She moved to stand next to him.

“I don’t know, he wasn’t with John after the debriefing.” He shrugged sadly and she swallowed hard. She was not going to focus on that now.

“How is Mycroft?” she finally asked.

“Shaken up, but okay.” Greg ran a hand over his face and she looked up at him.

“You look like you could use some sleep.”

“You too.” He nudged her shoulder with his and she simply nodded in agreement.

\--

“Hey,” Molly stepped back into the room, “Kathy is going to bring Rosie back in about an hour.”

“Thank you.” Mary smiled up at her.

“Molly?” John stood up and looked at her hesitantly before pulling her into a back breaking hug. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“What do you mean?” she asked when he had let her go, but he shook his head.

“It’s not mine to explain, you need to talk to Sherlock.” He rubbed the back of his head as he talked, nervous about the topic.

“Where is he?”

“At your house…call Kathy and tell her to drop Mina off here as well,” he added.

“No, I can’t do that to you guys,” she objected. They had several months to make up together as a family and did not need a tag-a-long.

“Yes, you can.” Mary spoke up. “Now, go talk to your fiancé.”

* * *

Molly had stopped in the door way when she saw MI6 agents searching her house. It wasn’t until she saw Sherlock in the middle of them all that she dared to step over the threshold. He looked more exhausted and emotionally drained than she thought she had ever seen him look. He would briefly exchange words with an agent but for the most part stood observing them, arms crossed tightly across his chest.

“Sherlock?” she whispered and he froze, his back ridged. The MI6 agents hurrying around them stopped, as if waiting for instructions. They were all silent for a moment before Sherlock cleared his throat.

“All clear?” he asked.

“Clear, sir,” one of the agents answered. Sherlock nodded and the agents filed out of the house without a sound.

He turned to look at her and she could see the strain on his face, the effort to keep the mask on. And when the door closed behind the last agent, he let out a staggered breath and tears filled his eyes. She watched as his shoulders heaved with his labored breathing and when he reached out to pull her into his arms she didn’t stop him.

She felt him burry his face in her hair and she held him as he let his emotions overtake him. She couldn’t help but think of the stark differences between the man she held in her arms now and the one who he had been all those years before. The Sherlock who would never have let emotional entanglements into his life, who thought caring was a weakness, who didn’t want to be a father. This was a different man.

This was a man who had grown. A man who cared for their daughter. The man who loved her.

And while he had made mistakes, so had she and they both deserved to work towards forgiveness.

When his breathing had slowed again, she took his face in her hands and carefully wiped away his tears. He slid his hands over her arms and gently held her wrists, kissing each of her palms in turn.

“Tell me.” So he did.

Eurus. Sister. Moriarty. Sherrinford. Coffin. John or Mycroft. And a little girl in a plane.

They spent most of the day sitting on the couch as Sherlock explained what had happened. Every so often she would interrupt with a question, but for the most part she let him talk. And talk he did.

“Mycroft and I are talking with our parents tonight.” Sherlock had been staring at a spot on the floor since he had started talking about Red Beard and he finally looked up at her. “Molly,” he paused, taking her hand in his again, “I don’t want to talk with them.”

“It’s okay to be mad at them.” She felt mad for him and didn’t understand the lengths that her in-laws had gone to in order to remove the evidence of their daughter from their home.

“Mad would be easy,” he dropped his eyes down to their hands, “And infuriated doesn’t even began to describe how I am feeling.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand as he talked, his voice low and even despite his emotions about the topic.

Molly frowned, wanting to take his pain away.

“Would you like me to go with you?”

“I can’t ask that of you.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, still holding onto her hands. “I thought I had lost you.” She stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue. “And all I could think about was how much I had disappointed you and that I never truly apologized.” She inhaled slowly, trying to keep her breathing even as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness and I know this is nothing in comparison to everything I have done, but I need to start somewhere…I am sorry, Molly, for having let you and Mina down.”

“It’s a start,” she whispered. “And…and I am so sorry for what I said.” A tear rolled down her cheek.

“It was true,” he said and she could tell that he believed it.

“You’ve grown and you can grow past this too.” She placed a hand on his face and brought his eyes back to hers. “I’m sorry you went through it alone.” She was openly crying now and could no longer hold herself back. “But you don’t have to anymore,” she said between sobs as she threw her arms around his neck. His arms closed around her, pulling her into his lap. “I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too.” He pulled his face back just enough to capture her lips with his.

She knew they had a lot of ground to cover, a lot to discuss and work through, but that was going to take time, much longer than a single afternoon, and letting herself have the one thing she truly wanted in that moment would not change that she knew that fact.

She pulled her lips away and pushed her forehead against his. His pupils were dilated, his breathing heavy, and his arousal evident under her thigh, but from one look she knew he would leave if she wanted him to.

“I need you,” she said breathlessly and pressed her lips to his again.

Carefully, he repositioned her in his arms and stood, carrying her to their bedroom. Gently setting her down on the bed, he hoovered over her, and Molly enjoyed feeling the weight of his body on hers. They stayed this way, fully clothed, wrapped in each other’s arms, getting reacquainted with each other’s mouths. Their last encounter had been primal and driven simply by lust, but this was something far more than just sex.

“I’ve missed you,” she said in a strained voice as he licked at a spot under her ear.

“I’ve missed you too.” He propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at her. “I was an idiot for wasting so much time.” She allowed a small smile to form on her lips and reached up to trace his furrowed brow.

“Then let’s not waste anymore.”

He smiled back at her and placed a soft kiss on her lips before gently getting to his feet. She sat up and watched as he squatted down, pulling off her socks and placing a kiss on her ankle. Straightening up, he pulled her to her feet so he could slowly unbutton her blouse. Gently pushing her shirt down her arms, he placed soft kisses on the tops of her shoulders. And when she reached for her pants, he moved her hands so he could pop the button on her jeans and slide the zipper down himself.

Before he could reach for the lacy material of her panties or bra, she placed her hands on his chest and ran her hands down until they reached the band of his pants. She gripped his shirt and pulled it loose, running her hands across his skin. Pushing herself up on her toes to press a kiss to his lips, her fingers worked at the buttons on his shirt. Running her hands over his shoulders, she peppered his chest with kisses and stopped when she noticed the chain he was wearing. She frowned as she looked at her ring settled at the bottom of the chain and slowly raised her hand to brush her finger tips over it.

“Can I have it back?” her voice was barely audible. She dragged her eyes back up to meet his and he was frowning. He wrapped his hand around hers, clasping the ring in her grasp and brought her wrist up to his lips, feeling her pulse.

“Not yet…I don’t deserve for you to wear this yet.” He kissed her wrist.

“Okay.” She nodded and wrapped her arms around his chest, continuing to pepper kisses there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for anyone who is still reading this...y'all are saints.


	10. Chapter 10

After they had thoroughly come undone several times in each other’s arms, she held him as he slept, keeping his nightmares at bay. When it was time she woke him and they dressed. She called John and they both spoke with Mina, telling her that they would come get her the next day.

Sherlock was quiet on the ride to Mycroft’s office and hesitated as they got out of the cab.

“Come on – I’ve got you.” Molly intertwined her fingers with his and lifted his hand so she could place a soft kiss to his skin. Without a word he nodded and led the way. His steps were steady and purposeful until he saw his parents standing outside of Mycroft’s office, looking worried. He slowed and his grip on her hand tightened. She turned him to face her, away from his parents. “Do you want take a minute?”

“No.” He placed a hard kiss on her forehead. “Just, don’t go anywhere.” She nodded. “Okay, lets…” he looked over her shoulder and stopped talking. She turned to look so she could see what he was looking at and smiled when she saw Mycroft staring at them.

“Can I have just a minute?” she asked. “I will be right back and then I won’t go anywhere.” He gave her a tight smile and let go of her hand. “Thank you.” She hurried to Mycroft and embraced him in a tight hug. “I’m glad you’re okay.” He hugged her back.

“You too.” He finally managed to say. “I…I don’t know what we would have done if…”

“It doesn’t matter now.” She squeezed him one last time. “You ready?” She gestured to his parents.

“Not really,” he muttered, but straightened his jacket and walked with her to Sherlock.

“I don’t think this will be a conversation anyone is ever really ready for,” she said as she took Sherlock’s hand again. “But, we’ll get through it.”

“Oh, Mycroft!...Sherlock? Molly?” Viola looked in confusion between the three of them. “What is going on?”

“I think it best that we have this conversation in my office.” He motioned and everyone filed in after him.

_MRS HOLMES: Alive?! For all these years? How is that even possible?!  
MYCROFT: What Uncle Rudy began...I thought it best to continue.  
MRS HOLMES: I’m not asking how you did it, idiot boy, I’m asking how could you?  
MYCROFT: I was trying to be kind.  
MRS HOLMES: Kind?! Kind? You told us that our daughter was dead.  
MYCROFT: Better that than tell you what she had become…I’m sorry.   
MR HOLMES: Whatever she became, whatever she is now, Mycroft, she remains our daughter.  
MYCROFT: And my sister.  
MRS HOLMES: Then you should have done better._

“If he should have done better, then so should have you.” Sherlock spoke for the first time. He looked up and stared at his parents. “I knew nothing of her until recently.”

“Oh, Sherlock,” Viola turned to her youngest son, “When you suppressed your memories, by not telling you about her we thought we were being…” she trailed off.

“Being kind?” Mycroft offered. Viola and Carleton exchanged horrified looks.

“Mycroft did his best with what he had…and you did too.” Sherlock pushed off the office door and sat down next to Molly, taking her hand in his. She could feel how quickly his pulse was racing and knew he still had a ways to go before he truly forgave his parents, but baby steps.

The four Holmes looked at each other, letting Sherlock’s words settle over them.

“What’s next then?” Carleton asked finally. 

“She is refusing to speak and will not communicate in anyway…I don’t know what good seeing her will do,” Mycroft said.

“How dare you say that?!” Viola chastised him. “She’s our daughter and I refuse to give up on her.”

Molly watched as Sherlock thought, ignoring his family’s continued disagreements over their approach to Euros.

“Fine!” Mycroft cut his parents off finally. “I will not deny your ability to – ”

“Let me try.” Sherlock cut in. The other three looked at him, confused. “Let me try to reach her…it was me who she reached out to in the first place.” He looked at his parents. “Let me see if I can get her to respond and if not, then do as you please.”

Viola and Carleton looked at each other, apprehension on their faces, but nodded.

* * *

When the cab dropped them off at the house there had been no discussion on if Sherlock was staying or not, Molly simply took his hand and pulled him after her up the stairs. They were silent as they undressed and got into bed, holding each other close as they drifted off into a dreamless sleep. The next morning she let him sleep until he woke by himself, knowing that he needed it, and they were again quiet as they readied themselves for the hospital.

As the cab approached the hospital, Molly could sense how nervous he was, so when he hesitated to get out of the car she slid across the seat and opened the door herself, gently pushing him out.

“Thank you for the push,” he whispered as he straightened his coat, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“DADDY!” Both of their heads snapped in the direction of Mina’s voice to see her running full out towards them with John just a few paces behind her at the entrance.

“Munchkin,” he sighed happily and dropped to his knees, opening his arms just in time for her to throw herself at him. He tightened his hold on her and stood up, eyes closed. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” She squeezed her little arms tightly around his neck.

“You’ve gotten big,” he said, opening his eyes.

“Mum calls it a growth squirt.”

“Growth spurt,” Molly corrected, trying to hide her giggle. “Hey,” she pulled John into a quick hug, “Thank you again.”

“Of course…come on,” he looked at Sherlock, “She wants to talk with you.”

Sherlock had not been thrilled about the idea of talking with Mary alone, but he was also rather glad that he didn’t have to have an audience to observe the interaction…either way, he was dreading the conversation.

“So, I’ve heard you’ve made a right mess of things.” Of their friends, Mary was the one who understood him the best and she hadn’t needed Molly to tell her what had happened in order for her to have predicted what his actions had been.

He gave her a curt nod, still unable to trust his voice.

“She hasn’t been prefect either.” Her statement caught him by surprise and he opened his mouth to protest but stopped himself when he saw Mary studying him. She raised an eye brow, as if daring him to say it.

“We’ve all made mistakes.”

“Yes.” She smiled at him and patted the bed. He did as she asked and sat down next to her. “Now, I’m guessing you’ve been dreading this conversation.” He didn’t reply. “But, I’m not going to yell at you about diving off the deep end, I think John and Mycroft covered that sufficiently.” He nodded once in agreement remembering how angry John had been the day after his birthday. “I think it needs to be – ”

“Mary, you were willing to sacrifice your life for mine…” he swallowed hard, dropping his eyes to the floor, “and in doing so you placed a value on it…a currency that I did not know how to spend.”

“And now?” He looked up at her question. “Do you know how to spend it now?”

“By being better.”

* * *

“Miss Mina,” Molly sang as she dragged herself out of Sherlock’s arms and off the couch. “We’ve let you stay up a half hour past your bed time…we need to get you into bed.”

“Okay,” she sighed and put down her toy and bounced over to her parents. “Daddy?”

“Yes?” he asked as he sat forward.

“Can you come back tomorrow?” she asked quietly. Molly watched as Sherlock’s face fell at the question. Gathering Mina in his arms he lifted her to his lap and placed a kiss on the top of her head, his eyes closed tightly.

“I know that I haven’t been around much lately,” he leaned back so he could look her in the face, “but that changes now.” A small smile formed on Mina’s face. “This is my home.”

“Mine too!” she said before hopping down from his lap.

* * *

After a quick shower, Molly grabbed her phone and slid into bed. She sighed as she checked the conversation between herself and Ellie; she still hadn’t responded and it had been several days, which was very unusual for her. Dropping her phone next to her leg, she rolled over to see Sherlock watching her from the doorway.

“Hey.” She patted the bed and scooched over to make room.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as he sat down.

“It’s silly…nothing really.” Reaching down towards her phone, intending to shove it under her pillow, Sherlock grabbed it before she could reach it.

“You still have things going on in your life…please tell me,” he said and held her phone out.

“Okay.” So she sat up and took it back. “Ellie……I ran into her when I was in desperate need of a friend.” Molly explained how she had been there for her over the past few months. “What?” she asked when she noticed Sherlock frowning. He pulled his phone out and flipped through several different screens.

“Is this her?” He held out his mobile to her and she took it. The woman was dressed completely in white and her long, brown, frizzy hair was uncontrolled. If Molly had passed this woman on the street, she wouldn’t have thought twice about her. But when she looked at her face, which held an emotionless expression, she couldn’t help but notice the familiar set of her eyes and mouth, the same familiarity she had noticed when they first met.

“How…how is this possible?” she whispered as she continued to stare at the picture.

“Mycroft is still looking into all of the security breaches,” he said with a frown.

“We spent so much time together; we didn’t just text…we had coffee and dinners…and – and she met Mina!” She let the phone slip through her fingers as her hands started to shake.

“She’s safe.” Sherlock took her hands and squeezed them. “Mina is safe and Eurus is secure.”

“I know. I know.” Molly muttered as she closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing, her shoulders rising and falling steadily before she slowly opened her eyes again. “Here.” She grabbed her mobile and flipped to her pictures. “This is how I know her.” She flipped the screen around and showed him – in this picture Eurus’ hair was red and well kept – thinking about it now, it had to have been a wig. Her makeup was done and she wore bright colors – the exact opposite from the picture that Sherlock had just shown her.

“She’s very good,” he whispered as he examined the picture. “A Holmes, no doubt.” He gave her a forced smile and she took her mobile back, a small smile matching his. “Would you like me to stay in the guest bedroom?”

She frowned at him, “why would you do that?” she asked. He licked his lips and she could tell he was trying to prepare his response.

“I know we decided that I am home, but I am also in no way under the impression that everything is okay with us…I know that trust takes time to rebuild.” He took her hand again. “And I am willing to put in whatever time it takes.” She couldn’t stop herself from reaching over and kissing him softly.

“And I am very grateful for that,” she said leaning back. “And while I am rather certain that as we work things out there will be times when I don’t want to sleep next to you, tonight is not one of those nights.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her. Smiling, he let himself be pulled until he was settled above her.

“I guess that means I’m sleeping in here tonight.”

“Every night.”


	11. Chapter 11

Things were oddly calm over the next few days as they all settled into their old routines. Mary was released from the hospital and sent home on strict instructions to rest, which of course she only partially followed. They all felt the tension surrounding them as they worked hard to get back to where things were before Magnussen but they were having a hard time feeling successful at it.

“You’re here!” Mary sighed in relief as she opened the door.

“Of course,” Molly said with a side hug and ushered Mina inside with Sherlock on her heals. “Where is the birthday girl?” she asked, looking around. She could see John mumbling to himself as he roughly manhandled some object at their kitchen table. Mrs. Hudson sat chatting away happily on the couch as Lestrade nodded his head over and over again. A couple of their neighbors with kids around Rosie’s age were also sitting in the living room making small talk as their children played on the floor.

“She should be waking up from her nap soon.” Mary shut the door and gave Mina a quick kiss before pushing her towards the other kids. “Can you go help him?” She looked from Sherlock to John. Sherlock gave her a quick nod and hung up his coat before heading over.

“Anything I can help you with?” Molly asked as she hung up her coat beside Sherlock’s.

“Wine?” Mary didn’t bother to wait for a response before pulling her best friend after her into the kitchen.

“So I see things are going well.” The sarcasm was almost visible.

“I’ll be honest, I don’t know why I feel this way.” Mary handed her a wine glass and took a large sip from her own. “I’m alive…healthy. My daughter is healthy and happy. My husband wasn’t killed by a psychopath…I should be thrilled.”

Without thinking, Molly raised the glass to her lips and drank.

“But you’re not?”

“It’s not that I’m not incredibly thankful for being alive and that _all_ of my family is safe,” she stressed the _all_ to remind Molly that her family was not just John and Rosie, “because I am.” She took another large gulp of her drink. “But I just feel…on edge.”

“What do you mean?” Molly took another small sip of her drink.

“I don’t know,” Mary sighed and ran her free hand through her hair. “I mean, I’ve been through worse pain before than being shot.” Molly could only imagine the kind of things that she had experienced as an assassin. “But I still just have this…” Mary balled the front of her shirt up in her hand.

“You weren’t a mother before.” Molly sat her drink down and pulled her friend into a hug. “That changes everything.” Mary gave a sad laugh.

“Everything,” she agreed. Stepping back she wiped at the few tears that had managed to slide down her face. “Oh!” Rosie’s soft cries came through the monitor. “Speaking of…I better go get her so we can get things started.”

Molly smiled at her as she walked out of the kitchen. Picking up her glass again, she raised it but stopped as it came to rest on her lip. Sighing, she went to the sink and dumped it out.

* * *

Molly could hear the ticking of the wall clock as they sat in the waiting room. She really wasn’t sure what she was doing there; work had been rather busy the last couple of days and while they were still readjusting to everything, she and Sherlock seemed to be doing well.

She jumped slightly as his hand came to rest on hers. She had been flicking her thumb nail against another of her finger nails.

“Nervous?” he asked quietly. She gave him a shy smile and shrugged, intertwining her fingers with his. “My recovery therapist highly recommended her.”

“I know…” Molly trailed off. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and waited for her to speak. She thought back to the loss of her parents and the hours she had spent with her old therapist. “I know the kinds of things that can come up in therapy and I feel like we are doing okay right now…I just don’t want to mess that up.”

He looked away and she could tell he was thinking, so she let him be. A few moments later he lifted her hand to his and kissed it.

“I think we’re worth it.”

* * *

June was in her early 30s and had been working with couples since the beginning of her career. She was married with children (“ _obviously_ ”). She liked to keep her office tidy and was not opposed to putting a personal touch on the decorations, using several inspirational movie quotes and book covers as art, but did keep her boundaries with no pictures of her family. Her favorite color was purple and she favored the look of it with grey. Her family had a dog (“ _if not_ two”) and a cat. She needed to come off as personable yet professional while at work but when she was home she enjoyed RPGs and reading comics with her kids.

“Impressive, Mr. Holmes,” she smiled and folded her hands in her lap, “Most of that I can assume were you would draw the information from…but how do you know I like RPGs and comics?”

“Your purse,” he pointed behind her. “It’s sticking out from your coat.” She turned around to look and nodded. “My guess is most of the time you cover up your purse with you jacket to keep the comic pattern hidden.”

“I do indeed.” She briefly remembered her phone ringing as soon as she stepped in from lunch and had thrown her purse and coat on the hanger without much thought.

“Also, your key chain, which is not fully tucked into your purse, has a figure attached that resembles those used in RPGs.”

“Sorry, he makes observations when he is nervous.” June could see that Molly’s cheeks were flushed and watched as she fidgeted in her seat.

“No worries!” She waved her hand dismissively. “I know that the first session can be very nerve wrecking…so, in attempt to make this as comfortable a setting as possible, I just want to spend today getting to know you two. No pressure to dig deep or anything like that today.” She gave them a small smile and they both nodded.

“Sounds good,” Molly added.

“Great!” She shifted in her chair and grabbed the file off her desk. “I did get your intake paperwork and briefly looked over it, but I find that going through it together is helpful.” She paused briefly to take a drink of her water and observe their body language. Sherlock seemed relaxed and while he did not come off as the type that _liked_ talking about his feelings, she assumed this was not his first time in a therapy office. Molly on the other hand was still shifting in her chair and had started picking at her nails. “Okay, so Molly, I see that you’re a Specialist Registrar – very impressive.”

“Thank you,” she replied in a quiet voice.

“What’s your area of training?”

“I actually work in the morgue and labs at Barts.” Her blush was back and June could only assume that while Molly seemed to love her work, she was unconsciously embarrassed about it.

“Oh, sounds interesting,” she smiled at her, “Do you enjoy it?” Molly gave a nervous laugh.

“Is it weird if I say yes?”

“No! Not at all – I wish more people enjoyed their jobs.” June smiled to herself as she watched Molly’s hands still and then she nodded in agreement. She turned her attention to Sherlock who was staring at Molly with a look of what she could only call awe on his face – she couldn’t help but wonder if Molly knew how much her fiancé loved her. “What about you, Sherlock?”

“I think she’s brilliant.” His reply was instant and it seemed like he had to drag his eyes away from Molly.

“I’m glad you think so,” she said warmly. “But I actually wanted to know if you also enjoy your job…Consulting Detective.” She noticed the slight change in posture at her question and he seemed to be thinking over his answer.

“Sometimes more than I think I should.” June nodded but did not comment.

“I see that you did not answer how many years you have been together.” She watched them both shift uncomfortably. “That’s okay…I’ve found that this usually means that there has been some time spent apart?” She softened her voice, knowing that most couples felt ashamed of this fact. Neither of them answered, only nodded their heads. “Okay…if you don’t mind sharing I would love a small timeline of the time you spent together and apart just so I have a better idea going forward.”

“Okay…umm,” Molly started picking at her nails again as she thought. “We were together for about a year and then things got…complicated and then even more complicated.”

“How long would you say things were complicated and did you still consider yourselves in a relationship?” June desperately wanted to ask what complicated meant, but she knew things would unfold in time.

“Ten months,” he again answered without hesitation. She noticed that as he talked, Sherlock was staring at a spot on the floor now.

“We were still engaged,” Molly added and June noted that she did not mention being _in_ a relationship.

“Alright, at the end of this ten months how long were you apart?” She waited as she watched them both start to fidget again, the tension in the room rising. “Remember, this is just a get to know you guys, so I don’t need to know why you separated yet…I just want a rough estimate.” She gave them one of her best reassuring smiles. Molly nodded and took a breath.

“Things were not good at all for the next two or three months, but I still had my engagement ring.” She had noticed when they first started talking that Molly was not wearing any jewelry. “I..uh..I, actually only broke it off back in January.” Sherlock reached over and grabbed her hand.

“And when did you get back together?”

“Three weeks ago?” Molly looked to Sherlock and he nodded.

“Okay – thank you. That will be really helpful later on.” She took another sip of her water, taking in how tense they both were. “So, you guys have a daughter?” Both of their faces lit up. “Why don’t you tell me about her?”

June sighed as she looked down at her notes, trying to organize her thoughts about this new couple. They loved each other, that was not the issue. In fact, she was pretty sure they loved each other more now, at the beginning of therapy, than some couples who were successful did at the end of therapy. No, love was not the issue…it was something far more complex than that.

“This will be interesting,” she said as she closed the file. “Very interesting.”

* * *

Mary sipped her wine as she watched Sherlock and Molly. To an untrained eye, there was nothing wrong or out of place, just a happy couple celebrating their daughter’s fourth birthday. But Mary couldn’t help but notice as Sherlock kept track of what Molly was drinking, or more importantly what she _wasn’t_ drinking.

“So how’s therapy going?” she asked quietly as she stepped into the kitchen to help Sherlock with the dishes. He raised an eye brow as he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “What, I can’t ask my friend how things are going?”

“That is not what you asked, if that had been your question I would have told you things are going fine.” He handed her the plate that was in his hand.

“Okay.” She turned the water on and rinsed the plate. “And things are going fine with me as well, thank you for asking.” She sat the plate to dry and started rinsing the rest of the dishes. “Now that the pleasantries are out of the way do you want to tell me how therapy is going?” He stopped the scrubbing that he was doing and looked at her.

“I’m trying to be better.” She had not been expecting those words and shock registered on her face.

“I know you are,” she finally managed. “You’ve only had a few sessions and you of all people know that progress takes time.” He nodded and went back to washing the dishes.

“You’re right,” he smirked as he talked, “I do know that.” She smiled back and bumped his arm with her shoulder and they finished the dishes in silence.

* * *

“Molly, I know you voiced last week that you felt we weren’t really dealing with the current issues so we talked about why we’ve been learning techniques and the need to be able to regulate before we jump in.” June watched as Molly nodded hesitantly. “How has practicing the new techniques been?”

“Umm,” Molly absentmindedly adjusted her hair as she thought. “It’s been okay…” she sighed and her cheeks buffed out. “I’ve practiced them like you’ve asked and I was able to use them a couple times this week…they seemed to help a little.”

“Good!” June smiled brightly. “I’m glad that you’ve been practicing…the more you use them, the easier they will be to do and the more they will help.” She nodded her head slightly, very excited that a client had actually listened and done the homework. “And Sherlock,” his head snapped up at his name, “How are things going with treatment and your own coping skills?” She noticed his nostrils flare slightly as he inhaled.

“I’ve reached a hundred days.” He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and head in heads. “Progress.”

“Progress indeed.” She flipped through the file and tossed it on her desk. “I think we are at a good place to start talking about what we should discuss first.” She noticed that both of them tensed up. “I don’t typically do this with couples, but from everything that you’ve shared so far, maybe creating an actual time line will be helpful. Not only will this get you used to talking about the things that have happened but it will also help orient me to the different events in your lives…what do you say?” They both nodded and mumbled a yes. “Perfect!” June stood up and started gathering extra paper and a pen from her desk. “While I am getting ready, anything else been weighing on you this week?” She looked up just in time to see Sherlock staring intently at Molly, as if willing her to say something.

“No, I’m good.” She could see him physically deflate at Molly’s words and waited a moment, hoping he would speak up. But he didn’t. Sitting down she looked at him, giving him another chance to say what was on his mind.

“Sherlock?” she added when he didn’t say anything. He raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement. “Anything you want to add?”

“Nothing this week.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you like it!

“After last session and everything you just said, Molly, you seem to have identified the case with Magnussen as the starting point of your current issues,” June commented as she looked up from the timeline they had created over the last two sessions.

“I would say that sounds right.” Molly nodded.

“Sherlock, you’ve talked about the importance of this case in getting you to where you are now…do you also agree that this is the starting point?” He knew she was only asking because she believed he did not agree.

Their _current_ issue felt more like a parenting issue…nothing to do with Magnussen. It had been over two years, but he could still hear Molly’s words as if she had said them yesterday, _You don’t know the first thing about parenting_ …and while he thought they had worked through it, he knew the past few months had undone much of the progress they had made.

No. He did not agree that Magnussen was their starting place, but pointing that out would mean challenging Molly on why she had not told him yet.

“Yes.”

“Okay, guys,” June sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I know we are getting into the hard stuff and I want you to know that I understand that this is not easy for you, but if I can’t be honest with you, there is no point in you coming to see me…Make sense?” Molly and Sherlock nodded. “Good. So, Molly, I feel like you are holding back what you’re feeling about this…if you aren’t honest, you can’t make progress.”

Sherlock could see the tight set of Molly’s jaw and felt the tension in his own shoulders.

“I know you think that if I hadn’t taken the case, we would have been just fine.” He rolled his shoulders forward as he talked and propped his elbows on his knees. “But things with Mary would have come out eventually and that would have changed everything anyways.”

“I’m not pissed about things _changing_ , Sherlock!” she snapped at him. “Things change all the time! I’m pissed that you got high!” He sat up and looked at her with shock on his face.

“You think that getting high for that case caused my full relapse?” Breathing through his nose, he was able to keep his voice even.

“I…I don’t know!” she huffed and crossed her arms, looking out the window.

“It seems like there was a lot of time between this misstep and Sherlock’s relapse,” June pointed out. “Looking at the timeline, there was about six months between this and the next time you got high, which was also only one instance, correct?” She directed her question at him.

“Yes.” He pressed the palms of his hands together in his lap. “I didn’t fully relapse until Mary was shot.” June nodded and turned back to Molly, who was still looking out the window.

“Is it possible that you are mad about things changing? Not with just you and Sherlock, but with your friends as well?” she asked quietly.

He watched as she wiped at her face angrily.

“I just want things to go back to normal,” she whispered. He reached over and placed his hand gently on hers, hoping that she would take it, and she did.

“A lot of couples come here saying that they want to get back to normal, but there is no going back. There is only forward.”

* * *

It was a few days later before Molly spoke to him about what June had said in their last session. They had both had long days and were exhausted when they crawled into bed. Her quiet voice had actually startled him as he thought she had fallen asleep already.

“Going back to normal is all I’ve wanted for a long time.” She rolled over and placed her hand on his chest. “I don’t know how to go forward.” He kept quiet and wrapped his body around hers as she cried.

* * *

Uncomfortable. That was the first thought she had as she swam out of her dreams. Bacon was the second. Rolling to her back, Molly gently massaged her sore breasts – sleeping on her stomach was not going to be an option much longer anyways. While she had been pregnant with Mina she had slept on her back or on her side and towards the end of her pregnancy she had only been able to sleep on her side with a pillow between her knees.

Inhaling deeply she smiled as she realized Sherlock was cooking her breakfast. Her stomach growled in response and instinctively she ran her hand over her belly, frowning when she realized that within a week she wouldn’t be able to pretend this wasn’t happening anymore.

“Hey,” his voice startled her and she tensed her hand around the sheets that lay on her torso.

“Hi,” she gave a shaky breath, hoping he hadn’t noticed but knowing that he did.

“Mycroft stopped by and got Mina about twenty minutes ago.” He came over and sat on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t want to wake you…you’ve seemed exhausted lately,” he added with a look that she could not read. She pushed herself into a sitting position and leaned forward to kiss him.

“Works been crazy lately.” Which was not technically a lie, as one of the other doctors had been on holiday the past week. “You smell good.” She changed the subject as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her.

“Yes, there is a plate of bacon waiting for us.”

“Anything currently cooking?” she asked as she leaned backwards. He wrapped his arms around her with a smile and shook his head no.

* * *

The atmosphere felt… _wrong_. They answered her questions politely, apologizing to each other for cutting in despite the fact that neither one of them had talked over the other at all today. They were thoughtful in their answers, almost too thoughtful…guarded, tense.

“Okay, I’m gonna stop you right there.” June sighed and pulled her legs up under her, preparing for a difficult conversation.

“Okay…” Molly said slowly, so stunned by the abrupt cut off that she had completely forgotten what she was saying.

“Guys,” she paused as she watched them both shift uncomfortably in their chairs – _oh, yeah…there’s something going on_ , “What happened this week?” She watched as Molly shrugged and looked at Sherlock, a confused expression on her face, before looking back at her.

“Nothing.” She shook her head.

June could tell that she was being sincere and truly felt like nothing had happened _this week_ …although something was still going on with her. Looking at Sherlock, his expression was tight and he was pressing his hands together harder than normal. She noticed that his nostrils were flared as he attempted to control his breathing.

“Sherlock?” she asked but he just shook his head. “Something is going on and if we don’t talk about it, you can’t move forward.”

The silence was heavy and she could tell they hated it. She _loved_ it. This was when things happened. When they were finally honest with each other. Honest with themselves. This was when they finally started to make progress.

She leaned forward, propping her head up on her hand, elbow resting on her knee, and waited. Molly shifted uncomfortably in her chair and she could only guess at the thoughts that were stirring in the other woman’s mind. Sherlock was still staring at a spot on the floor, an expression of anguish playing on his face.

“This is ridiculous!” Molly yelled, throwing her arms out before bringing them back in to cross tightly over her chest. “There’s nothing going on…we even had a _really_ good morning.”

Sherlock hadn’t even flinched at Molly’s outburst; his eyes were still glued to the floor and his hands were white from the exertion of pressing too hard.

June slowly leaned back in her chair, taking her time to respond hoping that Sherlock would speak up freely.

“Then why does it _feel_ like something is?” She kept her voice low, even. “Sherlock?” He finally drew his eyes from the floor. “Care to share what is going on inside your head?

Molly looked at him with concern in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she asked quietly, unfolding her arms.

“What’s wrong?” He sat up, staring at her. “Molly, what do you mean, _what’s wrong_?!” She blinked at him, her lips parted. June sat still, observing. “We’ve been discussing me taking the Magnussen case for WEEKS now!” He wasn’t shouting but June could tell Molly would have preferred that to the amount of anger that his calm, hard voice held. “You have made it clear that you attribute that case as the start of our problems, but our problems started long before then.” He stood up and walked to the window.

“Before then?” Molly asked in what June could tell was genuine surprise. “Things were going amazing before then!” She stood and started pacing behind their chairs, her nervous energy causing her to move. “What do you mean?” she asked after a long moment.

“Your exact words to me were, _you don’t know the first thing about parenting_ ,” he kept his voice low as he talked (June was impressed by his control), “Yet you were the one who encouraged me to embrace it.”

Molly stopped pacing and stared at him.

“I apologized…I was angry and worried…we worked through that.” Her voice was quiet. “Why are you throwing my old mistakes in my face?”

“It doesn’t feel old, Molly!” he snapped, still staring out the window. After several deep breaths he continued in a controlled voice, “I know I messed up this past year, but when I told you that you didn’t want someone like me to be your child’s father, it didn’t seem to matter that I was.”

“It doesn’t…you’re Mina’s father…nothing will change that.” Molly sat back down, confusion on her face. “Sherlock, like I told you then, we’re yours…we will always be yours.”

“Then why haven’t you told me?!” He spun around, tears on his face. “Why haven’t you told me you’re pregnant?”

“How...” the word was barely a whisper on Molly’s lips.

“Really?” His sarcastic comment a defense.

As the lies shattered around them, they were both quiet, locked in a silent battle to see who would break first.

“No…no,” Sherlock muttered through clenched teeth as he turned for the door, making it there in three long strides.

“Stop!” June’s voice rang with authority, causing Sherlock to pause with his hand on the nob. “Sherlock, you’ve said that you’re tired of running from your problems.” She watched as his shoulders tensed. “You walk out that door, you continue the pattern. It’s your choice.” She turned to watch Molly, tears streaming silently down her cheeks as she stared at her fiancé. Finally he dropped his hand to his side and turned around, walking slowing to his seat. “I’m glad you stayed.” She looked between the two and gave a heavy sigh. “Now, we move forward." Neither of them were looking at the other; embarrassment and shame written on both of their faces. “Take this time to asked the questions that you’ve wanted to ask.”

Sherlock took a deep breath.

“My birthday?” he asked quietly.

“Yes,” her voice was just as soft.

“When did you find out?” He still hadn’t looked at her.

“The day of the Sherrinford events…I had just taken the tests before you called.” Molly clasped her hands together tightly as she talked.

Sherlock looked up at her as if he had been jolted. The look of horror on his face almost made June ask him what was going on, but then he reached over and took Molly’s hand in his, interlocking their fingers.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t your choice to call me right then, Sherlock.” She brought his hand up to her lips and kissed it. “When did you know?”

“I had my suspicions at Rosie’s party.” She simply nodded at his response and they both settled into silence again, this time holding hands.

June debated dismissing them early…they were talking, not shouting or yelling at each other but the big question of why still hung in the air and she knew she couldn’t just let them walk out yet.

“How far a long are you?” she started with a safe question.

“Umm, about 15 weeks……I wouldn’t have been able to hide it for much longer,” she added after a moment.

“Why were you hiding it?” June asked. She watched as Molly furrowed her brow, thinking.

“Honestly, I don’t really know.” She inhaled sharply and June could tell she was holding back tears. “I think I was ashamed of how this came to be…it wasn’t what I would have wanted.” June raised an eyebrow as Molly looked at her. “It was the day I gave my ring back.” She nodded in understanding.

Sherlock shifted in his chair, so he was completely facing Molly.

“You weren’t hiding it because you don’t want another child with me?”

“NO!” Molly practically shouted, grabbing his face in both of her hands. “It wasn’t about you Sherlock – not at all.” The tears were freely flowing down her face again. “It was about me and the fact that I broke my promise to you that I would never give up on you…the moment I took that ring off my finger I gave up…not just on you but on us.”

Sherlock closed his eyes and sighed, an almost happy sound.

“I’m still mad,” he said, eyes still closed. She laughed and he looked at her.

“I know,” she said before leaning in and kissing him. “I know.” She leaned back and let go of his face. He reached over and grabbed her a tissue so she could wipe off her face.

June reached over to her desk and grabbed their file, giving them a moment to gather themselves.

“Good.” She smiled encouragingly. “Homework time.”

* * *

They were quiet for the rest of the afternoon, the rainy weather settling them into a cocoon of their own with no one to burst it with Mina staying at Mycroft’s. When they had gotten home Molly had changed into her pajamas and Sherlock soon followed suit while she made them a cup of tea. He got out his violin and played for her a piece that he was practicing to duet with Eurus. She read while she listened to him and was glad that when he put the violin away he wrapped himself around her with a blanket to sit and watch the rain.

They eventually warmed up dinner, neither of them very hungry but both content to sit in silence with the other. They ended up playing a couple of games of chess before finally calling it an early evening and heading to bed, both of them emotionally exhausted from the day.

“Sherlock?” she whispered, unsure if he had fallen asleep.

“Mhm?” he responded, rolling over to face her. She lifted her hand slowly and in the dim light of the room she traced her finger over his lips.

“I know session today was a lot, but I’m not sure I really got to apologize fully and I just wanted to say that I am sor – ”

“Please shut up, Molly.” His voice was strained as he cut her off and he scrunched up his eyes in concentration.

“Okay,” she said after a moment of debating whether or not she was going to continue anyways.

They were both silent but then she felt his arms sliding around her. He pulled her to his chest and settled her head under his chin, wrapping his body around hers.

“We can talk more about it later.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger warning for dissociation - not discussed or depicted at length though*

Sherlock was sitting at the kitchen counter when she came downstairs. She was holding a dark wooden box, just large enough that a pair of his shoes could fit inside, and she hesitated when she saw him.

“Are you going to stand there staring at me or come eat breakfast?” he asked after several moments had passed without her moving.

Molly smiled to herself as she shook her head.

“This is for you.” She sat the box down in front of him, pushing his plate aside. He stared down at it, a frown on his face. She smirked as she slid into the chair next to him. “You don’t know what it is, do you?”

“No,” he admitted and lifted the lid open. “Willamina,” he smiled and started removing the keepsake items.

“I realized while I was showering that I had never shared this with you.” She ran a finger over the ultrasound picture he was looking at. “You deserve to see it.” She giggled as he flipped to a picture of her eating ice cream with John. “Oh! I had forgotten how big my belly got.”

“You were radiant,” he whispered before leaning over to kiss her. They spent the next half hour going through items from her pregnancy and Mina’s first year. “Thank you.” He put the last picture back in the box and closed it. She gave him a sad smile and nodded before holding out an envelope.

“Here.” She placed it in his hand. “I should have told you so you could have been there. I’m sorry.”

He opened the envelope and pulled out an early term ultrasound.

“This is…?” he trailed off, pointing to her belly.

“Yes.” She grabbed his hand and placed it on her stomach. Relief flooded her as he palmed her belly; the weeks prior, any touch of his to her stomach had only caused her anxiety and guilt, but this morning his touch seemed to ground her. “My next appointment is in a couple of weeks.”

“I will be there.” He tucked the ultrasound back into the envelope and kissed her.

* * *

“Can we please tell them tonight?” he begged her as they walked to their front door.

“No – it’s their anniversary!” she reminded him.

“Only the second…it’s not like it is a large milestone that is celebrated,” he countered.

“Sherlock Holmes, we are not going to steal the spot light from John and Mary tonight.” She huffed as she stopped outside the front door.

“But…please?” he asked as he placed a kiss on her cheek. And another on her forehead.

“No,” she said with a giggle, pushing him away. “Mina – come on!”

“Coming!” she sang as she jumped from puddle to puddle, the water splashing up her boots.

“You wait for her, I need to get this inside.” Molly motioned to the cake in her hand. He nodded and opened the door for her.

“Molly!” Mrs. Hudson hurried to her side and took the cake from her. “I will take this to the kitchen for you.”

“Oh, thank you!” She smiled at the woman as she slipped off her shoes.

“Did the other two get lost in a rain puddle?” Mary asked as she hugged her.

“Who knows with those two!” Molly laughed. “You look amazing by the way!”

“Oh, thank you!” Mary smoothed down the front of her shirt. “I am really starting to feel like myself again.”

“Good.” She squeezed Mary’s hand but their conversation was interrupted as Sherlock and Mina stumbled into the house. “You two okay?” she asked, an eye brow raised.

“Daddy said that we needed to come inside now otherwise you would be – ” Mina was cut off by Sherlock’s hand over her mouth.

“You would start to worry,” he finished for her. Mary and Molly exchanged skeptical looks. “Alright, shoes off…no tromping mud everywhere.” He quickly bent down to help, avoiding Molly’s gaze.

“Anyways…drink?” Mary asked happily, a bright smile on her face.

“Uhh…sure!” Molly responded trying to match the level of perky that Mary was displaying. As she followed Mary she caught Sherlock’s amused looked out of the corner of her eye and shot him a glare.

“I’ve got your favorite!” Mary grabbed down a wine glass and poured Molly a large glass. “Here.”

“Thank you.” She swallowed hard as she took it.

“You’ve been busy at work,” Mary pointed out. “Things going okay?” She took a sip of her wine.

“Yeah…just some transitions between departments.” As she talked about the new doctors and assistants, she flexed her hand around the glass, switching it between her hands several times. “And then with trying to schedule around our therapy appointments, it just makes things – ”

“Good lord!” Mary threw her hands in the air and reached for Molly’s glass. “Give me that!” She took it and topped off her own drink, setting the dirty cup aside. “When are you finally going to tell us all?!”

Molly gave a relieved sigh and smiled. “How long have you known?”

“I noticed Sherlock keeping track of your lack of alcohol intake at Mina’s birthday party.” She pulled Molly into a tight hug and kissed her on the cheek. “Please tell me you were planning on announcing it tonight?”

“Sherlock wanted to but it’s your anniversary.”

“So?!” Mary objected. “Come on!” She grabbed her arm and started pulling her out of the kitchen. “Everyone’s here.”

Molly just shook her head as she let herself be pulled into the living room.

“Sherlock,” Mary tapped his arm and he turned to look at her. “I believe you and Molly have something to share with the class,” she whispered.

“We can tell them?” he asked with as much excitement as Mina did when asking about presents at Christmas.

“I will if you don’t.” Mary looked between the two of them and winked before walking over to sit next to John.

“I picked something up for Mina today,” he said, looking back at Molly. “I think you’ll like it.”

“Oh, yeah?” She smiled at him, knowing exactly what it was. She knew it was cliché but she was glad that he had picked it up. “Do you want to give it to her now?” His smile grew as he nodded. “Go get it.” He held up a bag. _Of course,_ she thought, suppressing an eye roll. “Mina,” Molly interrupted the conversation she was having with Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade, “come here.” She danced over to them with a bright smile on her face. “Your dad has something for you.”

“A present?!” she asked, bouncing up and down.

“Yup!” Sherlock knelt down and handed her the bag. “Here.”

She turned the bag upside down and dumped it out. Tossing the bag aside she grabbed the present and held it up, showing a black t-shirt with sparkly writing on it.

“Do you know what it says?” Molly asked as she knelt down with them. Kathy had been working hard with her after playschool on her letters and she was excelling with her beginning reader books.

“Big sister?” she asked after several moments of quietly sounding it out to herself. While Mary had been paying attention from the beginning, everyone else was now too. “A baby?” Mina whispered, looking up from her shirt.

“We’re going to have a baby!” Molly nodded.

“You’re going to be a big sister!” Sherlock smiled.

“Oh my gosh!” Mrs. Hudson’s hushed words mixed with Lestrade’s “How ‘bout that!”

“What do you think about that?” Molly asked when Mina had been quiet for a moment.

“Can it be a puppy?” she asked, causing everyone to laugh.

“Sorry honey, no puppy, just a baby.” Molly laughed as she pulled Mina into a hug, kissing her head.

“Okay,” she said, hugging her mom back.

“Do you want to put your new shirt on?” Sherlock asked. She nodded yes so he helped her pull it over her dress. “Do you like it?”

“Yes!” She bobbed her head and ran around the room showing everyone.

* * *

“Come on back.” June smiled warmly as she held her office door open. “I’m glad you called.”

Molly nodded and gave her a tight smile, tears filling her eyes as she walked back. She dropped her coat and purse in Sherlock’s usual seat and sat down, rubbing her hands on her thighs. She stared out the window as she listened to the soothing sound of the noise maker.

June watched as Molly’s gaze became unfocused and her hands slowed to a slow, calming, back and forth rhythm.

“Molly?” she asked but she did not respond. Slowly standing up she gently tapped Molly’s arm not wanting to jolt her. “Molly?” she said again, a little louder as she tapped her arm again. She watched as her eyes started to refocus.

“Sorry.” Molly shook her head and realized that the tears were now streaming down her face. “Oh…sorry,” she said again, grabbing a tissue from the table and wiping her face.

“That’s okay. No need to apologize,” June said as she changed the noise maker setting to something without a pattern. “How long have you been experiencing dissociation events?”

“Well, I don’t know if I would call it dissociating…” Molly trailed off when she gave her a look.

“You’re a medical professional, Molly, you know what dissociating looks like.” June pulled a water bottle out of the mini fridge and handed it to her. “Here.”

“Thank you.” She took several sips before screwing the lid back on and rolling the bottle between her hands, gathering her thoughts. “I guess I really started to notice them about two months ago?”

“When Sherlock confronted you about your pregnancy?”

“Yes.” She sighed, knowing that she should have told June sooner.

“Why don’t you tell me about the episodes?”

“They don’t last long at all and I am usually drawn out of them by someone fairly easily. Usually it happens when I get too much inside my own head – my thoughts start swirling and I just can’t deal with them anymore…But this morning I woke up feeling off and Sherlock had a case so he left before I was even out of bed.”

“Did you tell him how you were feeling?” she asked.

“No…” Molly shook her head, knowing that she should have. “I just shrugged it off and did my best to stick to the routine.” She sat the water bottle on the ground.

“So what happened to cause you to call?” June prodded.

“It happened when I was making breakfast for Mina…I ended up burning everything.” She sighed and started picking at her nails. “The kitchen was filled with smoke, which frightened Mina – it frightened me! Nothing happened this time, but if this gets any worse I could burn down our house!” She dropped her hands in her lap.

“I’m glad nothing worse happened this time.” June grabbed her note pad. “Now, you said that this usually happens when you get in your head, right?” Molly nodded. “What were you thinking about today?”

Molly dropped her eyes to the floor, holding her breath. She knew that June would wait her out, so silence wasn’t an option.

“I know that Sherlock and I have made a lot of progress,” she looked back at June, “but I honestly thought hearing him say he had forgiven me about not telling him that I was pregnant would make me feel better.” She stood up abruptly and started pacing.

“It didn’t?”

“No….I was very happy that he had forgiven me, but I still had this weight on my chest that I wasn’t expecting…and then we did all that work about calling him a junkie and he forgave me for that too…but I still didn’t feel better.” She stopped and looked at June. “Why?” Tears welled up in her eyes. “Why don’t I feel better?!”

“Do you believe him?”

“Of course I do.” Molly sighed and sat down on the edge of her chair, wiping her face. “The old Sherlock Holmes wouldn’t have even cared about forgiveness, so the fact that he had to work to forgive me means a lot.” She looked at June who was nodding slowly. “I really do believe him.”

“And that’s really important to helping you move on…but Molly, have you forgiven yourself?” June asked quietly.

“I, uh,…” she let out her breath, feeling deflated by the smack of her question. A million thoughts ran through her head, none of them making sense. “Sherlock forgave me. Shouldn’t that be enough?” she whispered.

“Apparently it’s not.” June gave her a small smile. “It sounds to me like you are still upset with yourself.”

“How could I not be?!” She threw her hands in the air. “He asked me to never give up on him and I did!”

“Can you explain?” June scribbled something on her notepad.

“I wasn’t there for him when he needed me the most.” Molly sat back, rubbing her belly absentmindedly. “When he relapsed after Mary was shot, we had been at the hospital with John…I should have tried hard to get him to stay or at least have called Mycroft or Lestrade, but I didn’t…I just let it happen.”

“What you’re saying is that while Sherlock’s behavior was not excusable it was understandable in that situation?”

“Of course it was understandable.” Molly looked at June in confusion. “While he was not directly responsible for shooting Mary, he did intentionally provoke a woman with a gun. The bullet had been meant for him, not her.”

“Then he had to watch as his close friend came close to death in his place….sounds like that would have been hard.”

“Hard?! It was awful!” Molly snapped. “I could feel her heart beat slowing under my fingers!” she huffed, insulted that June would insinuate that what happened with Mary was anything less than tragic.

“You could feel her heart beat,” June repeated. It wasn’t a question. “You could feel her…not Sherlock.” Molly sucked in a deep breath, holding the tightness in her lungs for a moment before slowly letting it go. “You had just watched your best friend take a bullet for your fiancé…do you think that maybe you weren’t thinking with a clear head either?” She was silent for a long time as she processed June’s words.

“Possibly…” she admitted.

“Good.” June tossed the notepad down and leaned forward. “We’ll continue this next time, but for now, let’s talk about some grounding techniques that I want you to try.”


	14. Chapter 14

“I meant to ask, why was Molly upset this morning?” John asked with a slight smirk. “Did you do something?”

“I told her she looked beautiful.” Sherlock frowned as they ducked under the crime scene tape. “Then she just burst into tears and started rambling on…at one point she got so upset when she mentioned that she couldn’t tie her own shoes anymore that she started hiccupping, which only made her crying worse.”

“Crying?” Lestrade glared at Sherlock as they walked closer. “Why would you upset a pregnant woman?”

“I told her she was beautiful!” Sherlock threw up his hands in frustration.

“Oh!” Lestrade started to laugh. “Don’t worry,” he clapped Sherlock on the back, “I did something similar when she was pregnant with Mina.”

“So this is normal?!” he asked with concern.

“Unfortunately, yes.” John laughed. “We had to deal with her hormones last time, it’s your turn now!”

* * *

Sherlock thrashed his hand around on the bedside table in an attempt to find his ringing phone but instead he only managed to knock their clock to the floor in a loud crash, causing Molly to startle awake.

“What?!” she sputtered as she sat up, pushing hair out of her face.

“Sorry!” He ground his teeth as he finally found his phone, silencing it. Looking at the caller id, his foggy mind cleared as he sat up. “Hello?” he asked, the worry in his tone setting Molly’s nerves on edge. “What?!” he asked as he swung his feet to the ground. “How?!” He jumped to his feet and started pacing. “Then figure out how it happened!” Sherlock practically growled before smashing his finger against the screen of his phone. Before he could throw it, he tightened his grip and took several deep breaths. “Mycroft wants me to go visit Eurus.”

“What happened?” Molly asked as she pushed herself up. Sherlock sighed and sat his phone back on the table before sitting down next to her.

“Remember when I told you that she had started seeing my parent?” he asked and she nodded. “She has been asking Mycroft to let her consult again and when I last saw her I explained that I agreed with Mycroft that it was too soon.”

“How did she take that coming from you?” Molly asked as she reached for his hand.

“She was annoyed but didn’t argue.” He ran a hand over his face. “Apparently, she has continued to bring it up with Mycroft and when he told her no again yesterday, she attacked him.”

“Is he okay?!” Her grip on his hand tightened.

“He is completely fine…but she did have a knife – a butter knife!” he hurried to say when he saw the panicked look on her face. “They are unsure how she got it and are reviewing the tapes starting with yesterday and going back to her last room inspection.”

“When do you leave?”

“I don’t think now is a good time to go visit.” He reached out and placed his hand on her belly. “Mina was early and I don’t want to risk not being here.”

“Sherlock, you have to go. We are still five weeks away from my due date.” She patted his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He nodded, knowing she was right.

“Okay…I should get around then. Mycroft has a car coming in an hour.”

“Molly!” he yelled up the stairs, as he checked his watch again. “The car should be here any minute.”

“Ready!” She appeared at the top of the stairs with a small bag in hand.

“I already packed.” He motioned to his bag on the couch.

“I know…this is for me.” She handed it to him as she huffed her way down the last few stairs.

“For you?” he asked, staring at it. “Why?”

“I’m coming with you…man, your skills are really starting to slip lately.” She lowered herself into a chair and started the process of putting her shoes on.

“No, you’re not.” He dropped the bag and knelt down in front of her. “You’re pregnant.” He slipped the shoe off that she had just managed to get on, earning him a frown.

“Yes and pregnant women travel all the time.” She held out her foot and pointed between it and the shoe in his hand.

“You’ve also been under a lot of stress.” She sighed and dropped her foot back to the ground.

“I know, but I’ve been doing the work and I haven’t had an episode in over two weeks and even before then they had been getting less and less frequent.”

“Molly, I don’t – ” She placed her hand on his cheek, silencing him.

“Sherlock Holmes, I adore how much you care about me and this baby and I know that you would do absolutely anything to keep us safe,” sliding her hand down his cheek she rested it on his shoulder, “But right now, your sister needs help and I think that I can provide that.”

“I know that you and Ellie were friends, but this won’t be Ellie, it will be Eurus.” He wrapped his arms around her.

“Maybe we won’t have that connection that Ellie and I had…but maybe we will.” She shrugged and pulled him closer, a feat now harder with her belly in the way. “Either way, I’m going.” She dropped a quick kiss on his lips before pushing him away. “Now, put my shoe back on.” He sighed and shook his head, knowing there was nothing he could say to get her to stay.

“Mary’s on her way to get Mina isn’t she?” he asked.

“Yup!”

* * *

“Absolutely not!” Mycroft slammed his hand on the table as he stood up, his voice bouncing off the walls of his office.

“Give me one reason why not!” Molly objected.

“How about the fact that you’re pregnant with my nephew?!” Mycroft gestured to her baby bump. “Then the fact that she attacked me with a knife just hours ago seems very important to this conversation.” He gestured wildly as he talked, unable to stand still. “You’re also a civilian, Molly…I can’t approve of this.”

“You’re parents are civilians and they have talked with her…Sherlock’s a civilian and he visits all the time!” She motioned behind her to Sherlock. He held up his hands in surrender as Mycroft looked to him for help.

“I had an entire flight here to convince her and I still failed.” Sherlock shook his head and sat down next to Molly. “You might as well give in.”

“This is preposterous!” Mycroft sighed as he sat back down in the chair.

“If I wasn’t pregnant, would you let me do it?” she asked quietly.

“Of course!” Mycroft seemed relieved that Molly was beginning to understand.

“ _That’s_ preposterous!” Molly stood up and leaned over his desk as she stared him down. “Being pregnant has nothing to do with talking to Eurus!” Her nostrils flared as she yelled. “I’m not going to be _in_ her room, I will stay on the other side of the glass, and you two will be watching the whole time!” She paused as she stood up straight. “Now,” she said much calmer, “let me see her.”

Mycroft’s look of shock faded and he sighed.

“Fine.”

As they rode the elevator down in silence, Molly’s confidence started slipping away. What was she thinking? Why in the world would Eurus want to talk with her? All she had been was a piece in her game and this interaction could set Sherlock’s progress back by months if Eurus wanted it to. Her thoughts started to spiral as they walked down the long corridor and she could feel her breath quickening.

Forcing herself to take a deep breath and slowly let it out, she started to recite the basic steps of an autopsy. June had worked hard with her to find a grounding technique that worked and Molly had found that this one was her favorite, leaving her with a familiar sensation by the time she reached the end of it.

Sherlock gently grabbed her arm, stalling her movement several feet before they reached the door. He nodded to Mycroft to give them a second.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, taking her hand in his. “I heard what you were whispering to yourself.”

“I’m okay,” she reassured him. “I want to do this…when I needed a friend, she was there.” He raised his brows in a questioning look. “Okay, Ellie was there but she _was_ Ellie and if I can help her, I want to.” He nodded his understanding.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked again.

“Promise.” She stretched up on her toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Come on.” She took his hand and walked to the door. “Let’s do this.”

“Okay…” Mycroft whispered as he slid his access card. The three of them stepped into the small space and the door slowly turned around them.

“I don’t want to talk to you Sherlock,” Eurus said before the door had even stopped moving. She was sitting on the ground with her back against the glass, staring at the other side of the room.

“We don’t have to talk.” As he stepped forward he motioned to them to stay put for a moment.

“I don’t want to listen to you play either.”

Molly was surprised at how different she sounded now than when she was Ellie. Sherlock had said that as she started to open up there were times when she seemed to regress to a younger version of herself, but Molly hadn’t been expecting it to be so evident.

“Will you play for me?” he asked in a hopeful voice.

“Go away!” she demanded.

“Eurus, please, I would – ”

“I SAID GO AWAY!” she shouted as she stumbled to her feet and rounded on him, fists raised to beat on the glass. “I DON’T – ” the sight of Molly and Mycroft in the door way caught her off guard, stopping her in her tracks.

“I brought someone with me today.” He held his hand out for Molly and she took it, moving forward.

“Hi.” Molly gave her a small smile.

“Why are you here?” Eurus whispered, her palm flat against the glass.

“I wanted to see you.” She shrugged. “It’s been awhile since we’ve talked.”

“Ellie isn’t here.” Eurus turned around and walked over to the bench, sitting down with her back to them.

“You’re here.” Molly prodded. “And I happen to believe that Ellie is part of you in some way.” They were quiet for several minutes as she stared at the wall, not moving. Looking to Sherlock, who nodded, Molly pulled out an envelope. “I brought you something.” She walked over to the hatch and sat the envelope in it, spinning the opening around.

Eurus looked over her shoulder, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“It’s a variety of things.” Molly stayed next to the hatch, hoping she would come get the gift. “Recent pictures of Mina, an ultrasound of your nephew, a paper I recently published, and a few other things…” she trailed off as Eurus looked away again. “I also included a letter from Mina.”

“What?!” Sherlock whipped his head in her direction.

“Sherlock doesn’t know.” Eurus stood, a smile on her face. “Why doesn’t Sherlock know, I wonder.” She smirked at him as she walked towards the glass.

“It’s addressed to Ellie,” she saw Sherlock’s shoulders visibly relax out of the corner of her eyes, “but I thought you still might want to read it.”

As she took the envelope she seemed less interested in it now that Sherlock was not as concerned but she still upended the contents onto her bed. Pushing around the contents, she picked up the picture of Mina in her _Big Sister_ shirt and ran a finger over it.

“She was struggling with remembering the names of the chess pieces when I saw her last…” She looked up at Molly. “Did she learn the difference between the bishop and the rook?”

“She did.” Molly smiled brightly at her and walked back to Sherlock, taking his hand. “Sherlock just taught her how the pieces move.”

“She doesn’t really grasp the idea of strategy yet,” Sherlock added.

“She’s only four!” she snapped at him. “What do you expect?!”

Sherlock didn’t say anything, knowing that her anger was not really about his comment on Mina’s chess game.

“Why don’t the boys give us some space to talk?” She looked between Sherlock and Mycroft.

“No!” They both said at the same time.

“Interesting.” Eurus dropped the picture onto the pile and walked back to them. “Similar responses.” Molly felt Sherlock tense and she tightened her grip on his hand.

“Calm,” she whispered to him.

“Not similar.” Eurus turned her head to the side and squinted at her brothers. “The same.” Molly watched as Mycroft squirmed under Eurus’ scrutiny. “Both brothers loving you seems like something you should have shared with Ellie,” she commented.

Molly straightened her shoulders and meet Eurus’ gaze.

“It probably would have been if you had stuck around.” She let go of Sherlock’s hand and stepped forward. “I really liked being friends with Ellie.”

“If Sherlock had stayed strung out,” Eurus looked back at Mycroft, “Would you have tried to step in?”

“He was the one who took me back to rehab.” Sherlock stepped in, his voice almost unnaturally calm. “Unfortunately, not the first time, but hopefully for the last.” Eurus squinted at him before going back to the pile of things on her bed. “Why don’t we give them some time?”

Mycroft tuned to him, a look that Molly couldn’t read on his face. Something passed silently between the two brothers before he nodded and stepped back into the doorway.

“We will be able to hear and see everything – don’t hesitate to say what you need.” Sherlock grabbed one of the chairs that was lined up on the wall and sat it down next to Molly. “Love you.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead before joining Mycroft in the doorway.

“Thank you.” She nodded at them as the door started to close and sat down.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains smut - skip words styled in block quote if uninterested in sex scene

Molly sighed as she looked at her watch. It had been almost twenty minutes since the guys had left her alone to talk with Eurus and she hadn’t gotten anywhere. She wasn’t sure what had possessed her to think that she would be able to reach her when no one else could, but she was certain now that her pregnancy hormones were making her lose her mind. 

Steeling herself, she slowly stood up, catching Eurus’ eye. Keeping the paper in front of her face she tracked Molly to the door, only standing when she realized she was actually going to leave.

“Do you love them both?” Molly was shocked at how much she sounded like Ellie.

“Of course I do,” she turned back to face her, “Just in different ways.” Eurus stayed quiet as she slowly walked about her room. “Why does it interest you?”

“Emotional context,” was all she said.

“Before we met, how did you know that I was Sherlock’s pressure point?” Molly asked as she lowered herself back down onto the chair. Eurus tilted her head. “We aren’t married, Sherlock wasn’t on Mina’s birth certificate at the time, and I don’t think Sherlock has ever updated his address.”

Eurus paused, staring at a spot near Molly’s feet. She was silent long enough that Molly had started to believe that she should give up again.

“Mycroft had mentioned a Hooper who had been instrumental in helping Sherlock fake his death.” She looked up. “Jim had told me that you were insignificant to Sherlock…but I was curious all the same.”

“Anyone can google a name.”

“Mina looks just like him.” Eurus bit out. Molly nodded her understanding, remembering Sherlock’s face the moment he had met Mina. “Tell me,” she directed as she sat down on the ground across from Molly.

“About?” She winced as she rubbed a tender spot just below her ribs where he kept kicking her.

“Everything.”

* * *

As the door slid around her to reveal Sherlock, she felt like crying. He held out his arms and she walked to him, burying her nose in his neck and trying not to collapse from exhaustion.

“I got you,” he whispered. She smiled in response, knowing that he meant it in every way possible.

“I didn’t realized when you started you were going to give her the _whole_ story.” As she stepped back she watched as Mycroft checked his watch, his next statement amusing her. “Had I known I would have at least had them bring you a cushion.”

“How caring you are,” she said rolling her eyes.

“Having had time to think about our situation with Eurus, I have a proposal.” Mycroft started walking, waving the two of the forward with him. “Sherlock, I still don’t want her working on active cases, but I do not see a problem with you sharing your already solved cases with her.”

“I think she might appreciate that!” Molly squeezed Sherlock’s hand enthusiastically, but he stayed quiet. “Do you disagree with Mycroft?”

“Unfortunately, no.” Sherlock smirked as Mycroft’s permanent frown deepened. “I don’t see any concerns in sharing old cases, but your due date is soon and I do not want to miss anything.”

“Trying to compensate for – ” the lift arriving cut Mycroft off just as he caught the matching disapproving looks from Molly and Sherlock. “Sorry.” Things between the brothers had improved exponentially since Sherlock had been in rehab, which Molly was grateful for, but they were still brothers with a long history of issues behind them and things slipped through. “We could set up a temporary webcam…if you would like.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

A week later Lestrade called just after dinner in desperate need of Sherlock’s help. Having rung Molly, he explained that he was in no way interested in bringing down the wrath of a pregnant woman on himself so if she did not want Sherlock on the case he would hang up now. She had rolled her eyes and handed the phone to Sherlock immediately. Their conversation had been short but she could tell his interest was piqued instantly and was happy that he would be getting out of the house.

While she had loved sharing the pregnancy journey with him, Sherlock was starting to get on her nerves. As was his way with things that he cared about, he was completely dedicated and involved, which was sweet, but his level of intensity was grating and annoying. He had been taking small cases which had kept him from barging into Bart’s ten times a day during her shift, but as soon as she punched out to go home, he was there. When he hesitated to take the case, she reassured him that she would be just fine.

And totally fine she had been. After spending some quality time with Mina (eating ice cream and watching cartoons), she had let Mina crawl into bed with her knowing that soon her little girl would no longer crave the closeness she did now.

Shivering awake, the uncomfortable feeling of cold fingers sliding across her belly pulled her out of sleep. “Sorry,” he mumbled as he placed a kiss against her neck.

“Mina?” she asked without opening her eyes.

“I tucked her into her own bed,” he whispered as he dragged his nose across her jaw. “You two have a good evening?”

“Yes…she is growing up too fast.” She rolled so she was flat on her back and hooked her arm around his neck, allowing her fingers to brush through his hair. “I wish we could slow her down.” He hummed in agreement as he traced a finger over her face. “How was your night?”

“Frustrating.” She could see him clench and unclench his jaw in the dim light from the clock on the side table. “But good.” He dropped his head closer to her. “I think I was starting to get…..under foot here.”

“Starting to?” She giggled at him. He gave her an exasperated sigh before leaning down to leave a trail of kisses along her neck. “Any good leads?”

“A few…but things aren’t lining up.” He propped himself up higher. “Can’t focus.” He ran his hand down her side and danced his fingers across her thigh.

“You need a fix.” She smirked. He nodded, his hair tickling her face.

“I need a fix.” He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled deeply. “And one only you can fulfill.”

> Sex had always been good between the two of them. They had used it as extension of their words and love even before they knew what they meant to each other. It was a connection that Molly couldn’t help but feel had grown stronger since Sherlock had come home; every touch was electric and she couldn’t help the audible sigh that escaped her lips as his hands roamed over her body as he removed her clothes.
> 
> Sinking his fingers into her folds, he groaned at the pool of wetness he found. She shivered as he brought his fingers up to his mouth and licked her juices.
> 
> “Don’t..tease me.” Her voice was thick with want. Smirking, he returned his hand to her center, stroking her folds several times before slipping his fingers inside. Using his thumb to draw circles around her clit, he pumped his fingers inside of her, shaking when he felt her walls growing tight. “Yes…oh, please. Just like that!” she moaned as she rocked herself against his hand. “Don’t stop, Sherlock…just like..” her voice was airy as she neared her climax. “Oh…oh!” she gasped, digging her fingers into his back. Her breath was hot against his skin as she buried her face in his chest enjoying the last shocks of her orgasm.
> 
> Slowly stretching her limbs out, she laid her head back on her pillow.
> 
> “You’re beautiful,” he whispered before running his tongue down her neck and settling his lips on his favorite spot against her collar bone. She hummed in contentment as he slowly rubbed her throbbing center.
> 
> Sneaking her hand between the two of them, she wrapped her fingers around his shaft, causing him to gasp. Matching his pace, she slowly stroked every inch of him, from base to tip. As the throbbing between her legs began to dull, she felt heat pooling again. She quickened her pace and his fingers faltered as she drew his attention.
> 
> “I want you,” she said as she kissed his neck, lips, and chest. “Now.” Without another word he had slipped off the side of the bed and pulled her to the edge. Leaning down to tease her, he ran his tongue up her slit before gently running his teeth over her clit, making her squirm. “Inside.” She commanded and he obeyed, bringing her one leg up to rest against his chest as he hooked his arm around her other hip.
> 
> “Fuck,” he hissed as he pressed into her, his fingers digging into her skin. He paused a moment once fully inside, both enjoying the feeling of complete connection. “I love you,” he whispered as he began to move again. “Fuck, I love you,” he sighed as his speed increased. She moaned in agreement as she balled the sheets in her hands, wishing that she could touch more of him.
> 
> As his pressure built he could tell she needed more. Pressing his thumb against her clit, he rubbed tight circles down to their joining and back up. Feeling her walls tightening pushed him over the edge and he rocked himself against her as they both rode out their orgasms.

Breathing hard, he collapsed back on the bed when she moved to make room for him. Momentarily unable to move, they lay with their legs intertwined for a long time. When their breathing and heart rates had returned to normal, he rolled on his side and hugged her to his chest. As he leaned over to press a kiss to her lips, the chain around his neck shifted and her engagement ring fell, settling in the hollow of her neck. Reaching up, she slipped her finger in the band. She examined it in the dim light and felt his eyes studying her.

“When do I get this back?” she asked, flicking her eyes to his.

Frowning, his wrapped his hand around hers and pulled the band off her finger. As he pressed her palm to his lips, he sighed, his eyes closing.

“Not yet,” he whispered. She blinked several times, holding back the tears that were threatening to overflow. “I still have things I need to do before I deserve to see it on your hand.” He opened his eyes and sat up so he could take both of her hands in his. “But I am ready to forgive you for trying to keep your pregnancy a secret.” She shifted higher on her pillow, listening intently. “I…” he faltered, clearing his throat, “I have spent the last couple months wrestling with my own demons about this…my feelings of inadequacy as a father, as a friend,” pausing, he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, “and as your future husband…I believed you when you said that the reason you didn’t tell me was because you were ashamed of yourself but my own head kept lying to me.” He gave her a small smile. “Thank you for reminding me these past few months that you trust me with Mina.”

Molly sniffed loudly as the tears freely flowed down her face.

“You can’t just say things like that to a pregnant woman!” she laughed as she grabbed a tissue from the table. “Especially after sex like that!” She blew her nose as he smirked at her. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Renee and Oliver are original characters who were introduced in Isn't She Beautiful.

“You two have come a long way.” June sat back and smiled at the pair. “Sherlock, I know that you have been working hard towards keeping your sobriety – how many months now?”

He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees.

“Eight months,” he said as if he could not believe it.

“Congratulations. Your hard work is paying off.” June nodded at him and turned to Molly. “And it’s been what, almost two months since you’ve had an episode?”

“Just about,” she agreed, but no look of relief or joy passed her face. June paused, waiting for more, but nothing.

“Molly?” June prompted.

“Mhm?” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“Would you like to share what is bugging you?”

“Not really,” she said, giving a sigh. “But I know that I would rather say this here than anywhere else.” Sitting up straighter she looked at Sherlock. “I have been anxious the past few days.”

“Your due date was three days ago,” he pointed out.

“Yes…and I am very excited to meet our son…” she paused, frowning. “I’m, uhh…I’m just a little nervous because having a new born can be stressful….and you usually throw yourself into a case when your personal life is stressful.” He opened his mouth to speak but she rushed on. “You have a tendency of putting the case first but you’ve been working so hard to keep a balance and I am so appreciative of that…but this is going to be a new experience for you.” She reached over and took his hand. “I’m sorry that my mind goes there…you really have been working hard,” she ended in a whisper.

Sitting up, he kept her hand clasped in his.

“My behavior in the past has not been the most reliable; I understand why you would be worried. You do not need to apologize.” He sighed. “I’m glad you told me.”

“Do you still use the focus list?” June asked.

“He calls it his Real World Check List.” Molly smiled. “I see him use it all the time.”

“I would like to eventually not have to.” He scowled. “It seems like such an asinine thing to have to use.” June raised an eye brow at him. “Do you have to use a list to make sure that you are fully participating in life?” he scoffed.

“No, I don’t…but then, my brain doesn’t function like yours…I can’t do what you do.” She had always done her best to make them both feel comfortable with using their coping skills.

“It’s still infuriating.” He crossed his arms.

“Yeah,” she agreed, smirking at the two of them. “But that’s life.”

* * *

Molly gripped Sherlock’s hand as another contraction hit her. She squeezed her eyes shut as she focused on her breathing. The time between each was getting shorter but she was still frustrated. Her labor with Mina had been relatively quick – her water broke, her contractions were close together, and there were no complications. This time her contractions had started before her water had broken and it had been hours since then.

“How we feeling Molly?” her doctor asked as she stepped into the room.

“Tired.” She slumped back against the bed.

“Just had another contraction,” one of the nurses informed her.

“Perfect!” She walked over and grabbed a set of gloves. “Let’s see how you’re progressing.”

“While you’re up there, feel free just to pull him out,” Molly said as she resituated herself. With the amount of times people had been staring at her vagina, she was starting to regret she had not been charging admission. “How much do you think I could get out of ticket sales for people who want to have a look up there?”

“I think you’re really tired.” Sherlock shook his head at her, the smile on his face disappearing when he noticed the frown on the doctor’s. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong,” she replied slowly.

“Amelia, you’ve known me for too long…don’t bull shit me right now.” Molly felt her heart rate climbing as her thoughts spiraled out of control.

“Molly, I promise you there is no reason to worry about right now. You are simply not progressing as quickly as I would have thought.” She stood up and disposed of her gloves. “I want to get an extra monitor on baby…the one we have is good but I just want to see more,” she hurried to add before Sherlock started in on why they weren’t using the best ones to start with. “I’ll be back in a little while to check on you.”

Molly huffed as the staff worked to hook up the new monitor. The numbers looked good to her but it had been so long since she had been in medical school working with live patients that she honestly wasn’t sure any more.

“You doing okay?” he asked, leaning over to take her hand again. She frowned at him but brought his hand up and kissed it.

“I’m glad you’re here.” She couldn’t help but think of the drastic difference she felt this time around. While things had gone so perfectly right with Mina, she had had so much anxiety and sadness that she had struggled to be present. John had been so amazing and supportive but the entire time it just didn’t feel right. Despite being concerned about her lack of progress now, she had never felt more grounded in her life. “I’m just ready to meet our son.”

“Me too.”

“There we go!” Amelia exclaimed a few hours later. “I think you’re just about ready to start pushing.” She looked up at Molly, expectantly. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay.” Molly nodded her head. “Just hoping he’s ready.” Sitting up more, she reached her hand out and Sherlock took it, moving to stand next to her.

“He is.” Amelia patted her knee. “Alright guys, let’s get these extra monitors….”

For a moment the rest of the room faded away as Sherlock placed his forehead on hers.

“You ready?” he whispered. She nodded, giving his hand a squeeze. “I’m going to be right here the whole time.”

“I know I already said it, but I am so glad you’re here.” Closing her eyes she focused on his nearness, cupping his cheek with her hand. “I love you…”

“With all my heart,” he finished before gently kissing her. Pulling back he placed another on her forehead.

“Alright Molly, you know the drill…when you’re ready, start pushing.”

“He’s perfect,” Sherlock whispered when they had finally been left alone, all of the poking and prodding done.

“He is.” Molly ran a finger over his nose and he squirmed in her arms, making her smile. “You ready to hold him?” she asked, looking up.

Sherlock nodded and stood up. Gently, he took his son and held him close to his chest. Holding Mina had not been like this. When he had returned she was almost two, walking and talking were second nature to her. When Rosie had been born he had been so busy with cases that he never really held her until she was already several months old and able to hold herself up. But this was different.

“He’s tiny,” he said quietly.

“Are you just going to point out obvious stuff all night?” she asked, a tear rolling down her cheek.

“Molly, what – ”

“No, no, no!” She wiped at her face, smiling. “Happy tears.” She gestured at the two of them. “Really happy tears!”

He inwardly cursed at himself. Of course this would make her emotional. He had missed these moments with Mina…but he was done missing them. He couldn’t go back and change what had happened, but he was going to make up for it every moment of the rest of their lives.

“Why don’t you get some sleep?” he suggested. “You know everyone will want to come visit in the morning.” She stared at him, giving him an apprehensive look. “We’re not going anywhere.”

“Okay, but only for a little.”

A knock startled Sherlock awake but seeing Molly and baby sound asleep where he had left them calmed the rising anxiety.

“Hey,” Mary whispered as she leaned in the doorway. “I’ve got one very excited little girl who is ready to meet her brother.”

“Munchkin!” Sherlock stood up and held his arms out as Mina ran to him.

“I’ll give you guys a minute…but then we’re coming in and I’m getting some newborn snuggles.” She winked at him and closed the door.

“Do you want to wake up your mum?” he asked. She grinned at him as she shook her head. “Okay…be gentle though, she is still a little sore.” He sat her on the bed next to Molly, who stirred immediately at the movement.

“My girl.” Molly smiled and pulled her into a hug. “Did you have fun with your Aunt and Uncle?”

“Uncle John let me have ice cream for dinner…it was kind of the best,” she announced.

“Of course he did.” Molly sighed and shook her head. “Well, are you ready to meet your brother?”

“Yes!” She slid over to the side of the bed as Sherlock picked the baby up from his cot.

“Mina, this is your brother, Greyson Scott.” Sherlock knelt down so Mina could see him better. She smiled and reached her hand out to touch his face. “Do you want to hold him?”

“Can I?” She sounded surprised at the idea.

“Of course you can sweetie.” Molly leaned over and gave her a kiss on the head. “Why don’t you go sit in the chair.”

Mina nodded and hopped down, settling herself in the chair. Sherlock slowly transferred Greyson into her arms and placed a pillow next to them.

“Oh!” Molly knew she was going to love seeing the two of them together. “Sherlock, take a picture!” She wanted to remember this moment.

“It begins,” he mumbled sarcastically as he pulled out his mobile to take the picture.

“Hush!” She jabbed him in the hip as he laughed at her.

Over the rest of the morning their friends and family took turns visiting. She was beyond happy to see her in-laws as Mina had been almost a month old before they had gotten to meet her. There was something special in watching Sherlock talk with his parents while holding their son and daughter. She was even able to get Mycroft to hold Greyson, something he had not wanted to do with Mina until she was several months old.

“Well, Miss Molly, you two are doing great!” Amelia smiled as she returned Greyson to his cot after his checkup. “I am going to get your papers ready and send you home.”

“Thank you!” Molly said, practically jumping to her feet.

“I’ll see you guys in a few days,” she said taking her leave.

Molly, who had already changed into “real clothes” several hours earlier, was happily gathering the rest of her things.

“Before we go,” Sherlock interrupted her packing, “I have a surprise for you.”

“You do?” She looked at him, a brow raised.

“OLI!” Mina shouted and jumped up. “Renee!”

“Willamina!” Oliver scooped her up and spun her around.

“What are you two doing here?!” Molly pushed past Sherlock and wrapped her arms tightly around Renee.

“You did just have a baby, didn’t you?” Renee playfully chided her.

“You can’t have major life milestones without your oldest friends to help celebrate!” Oliver said as he tickled Mina.

“I am so happy to see you!” She hugged Renee again.

“It’s good to see you, Sherlock,” Oliver said hoisting Mina up on his hip and smiled as he offered his hand.

“Oliver.” Sherlock took it and shook. “Mina, why don’t you introduce them to your brother?”

“Okay!” she said as she wiggled out of Oliver’s arms. “Come on!” She pulled them over to Greyson’s cot. “This is Greyson. He’s squishy looking. Mum said he was perfect.”

“May I?” Renee mouthed to Molly, pointing at Greyson, as Mina continued to talk. Molly nodded yes with a small giggle.

“Dad said that he could be perfect _and_ squishy.” Mina looked vindicated as she recalled what Sherlock had said to her earlier.

“Molly, he is beautiful.” Renee rocked him gently.

Oliver extracted himself from the conversation with Mina and wrapped Molly in a tight hug.

“You look good, Molls.”

“I’ve missed you guys.” She leaned her head on his shoulder as they watched Renee with Greyson.

Sherlock sat down and pulled Mina on his lap, letting Molly talk with Renee and Oliver.

“Daddy?” she whispered, looking up at him.

“Mhm?” He looked down, uncertain about the tone of her voice. Now that she was getting older he was having an easier time reading her, but she was still very young and children were much harder to make deductions off of than adults were.

“Why is Greyson’s name Greyson Scott Holmes?” she asked, unblinking.

“Your mother and I chose that name for him, just as your mother chose your name for you.” Simple question, simple answer.

“Yeah,” she said exasperatedly, “but why is he Greyson Scott Holmes and I’m Willamina Scotia Hooper?” Not a simple question.

“Munchkin, there are – ”

“You’re moving here?!” Molly exclaimed loudly, drawing their attention back to the moment. “Sherlock, they’re moving here!” She beamed at him, looking like she was going to come out of her skin. He smiled back, loving when she was happy.

“Truthfully,” he stood up, putting Mina on her feet, “I knew already.”

“Did you figure it out off their Facebook status updates?” She walked over and slid her arms around him.

“No,” he said dryly. “Oliver called me a couple weeks ago.”

“We wanted to surprise you.” Oliver was holding Greyson now, trying to sooth him as he started to fuss. “Didn’t think it would be in the hospital, but this works.”

“Well, I am so glad you did!”

“Us too…but we really should be getting out of your way…let you get home.” Renee squatted down to Mina’s level. “I’m really excited to spend more time with you – so are the girls.” She pulled Mina into a hug. “Should we plan some play dates for you guys?”

“Yes!” Mina bounced excitedly.

Oliver placed Greyson back into his cot. “We’ll see you guys soon.”

“Bye!” Molly hugged them both tightly before they left. Turning to Sherlock, she gave a happy sigh. “Mary and Oliver are going to be trouble together!” He nodded in agreement.

“Are we leaving?” Mina asked as she climbed back up in the chair, yawning.

“You ready to take your bother home?” Molly asked. Mina nodded, yawning again. “Good. Let’s go home then.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost to the end! Thank you for anyone still reading! Also, a big shout out to Mizjoely who has commented on every chapter - it makes me smile every time:)

Molly slowly walked back and forth in front of the window in June’s office. Sherlock watched her as he rocked a very tired Greyson to sleep. He wanted to be helpful but when he had said something earlier that morning, she had practically taken his head off. He had started to notice her distancing herself a couple months after they had brought Greyson home. Things had been going well with both Mina and Grey (he had checked with Mary and John, so he knew he wasn’t just imagining it) which lead him to being surprised when she started to withdraw.

At their last appointment they had decided to suspend sessions while they got settled in with Grey, deciding that they would start back up when Molly went back to work. When she first suggested that she push off her return he had been relieved as transitioning from one child to two, along with maintaining sobriety, had taken up a lot of his brain space. But when Molly had really started to struggle Sherlock called and made an appointment sooner than they had planned.

“Hey guys,” June smiled as she came in. “I hope it was okay that I had the receptionist put you in here to wait…I was hoping you would be more comfortable.”

“Thank you,” Molly replied quietly, not looking up.

June gave Sherlock a reassuring nod before hanging up her coat and sitting down. “So, this must be Greyson.” She motioned towards him.

“Yes, Greyson Scott.” His face lit up as he introduced him.

“He is beautiful.” She settled her hands in her lap. “Molly, he has your nose.”

“He does.” She stalled her movements and gave June a sad smile. “It was the first thing I noticed.”

“Would you like to join us?” June pointed to her empty chair.

“Yeah…,” she moved to the chair and sat down, “sorry.” June just shook her head. “It’s been rough,” she freely admitted.

“Anything in particular?” June asked.

Molly shrugged, tears gathering in her eyes.

“All of it?” she said quietly, holding her breath. She huffed as the tears started to fall.

“I want you to be able to tell me what you’ve been feeling, but why don’t you let Sherlock explain what he has noticed?” June suggested. Molly nodded, seeming relieved to have a moment to collect herself. “Sherlock?”

He furrowed his brow, adjusting Greyson in his arms as he thought.

“I read a lot of books during Molly’s pregnancy. I knew that there would be hormonal changes post birth, but this seems to be more than that.” He paused as he looked for the right words, not wanting to upset Molly. “We are both tired…naturally we have less patience for irritations…”

“Sherlock, you don’t have to sugar coat it,” Molly sighed. He looked at her for a moment before nodding.

“She has been annoyed with every little inconvenience lately. The other day she snapped at Willamina for accidentally spilling her breakfast on the floor. She didn’t decorate for Christmas, which she loves doing…and she just isn’t connecting with us right now.”

“Connecting?” June asked.

“Playing with Mina, talks on the phone with Mary, lunch with Mycroft,” he continued to list off Molly’s daily and weekly activities, “And we haven’t… _connected_ in – ”

“Sex, Sherlock. It’s called sex…we’ve talked about this.” June had made it very clear early on in counseling that they had to address the tough topics head on.

“Yes, _sex_ ,” he said, annoyed. He sat forward, placing Grey in his carrier, using the time to gather himself. “I’ve made a job out of seeing the unseeable.” Sitting back he reached over and took Molly’s hand in his. “But I can’t see what is going on with you right now.” He squeezed her hand. “We’ve always been able to find each other through intimacy, especially when words weren’t enough…it’s how we ended up with Mina,” he smirked, causing a small smile to form on Molly’s lips, “but lately you won’t even let me hold you.”

Leaning forward, she frowned as the memory of the day Sherlock had punched Mycroft for kissing her flashed in her mind. He had asked her not to give up on him and she remembered feeling that the words she said to him that night had not been enough, but the moments they had after had told him everything she wanted to say. 

“Molly?” June prompted her. “Did what Sherlock say sound about right?” She nodded her head yes. “I’m not going to waste my time explaining postpartum depression to an educated woman like you. While a lot of what Sherlock is saying sounds like it, my guess is that there is more than that?”

Molly turned to Sherlock, an embarrassed look on her face as she nodded her head, tears falling again.

“You’re better with him than I am,” she whispered. “The crying and dirty nappies and lack of sleep…you take it all in stride!” She flung her hands out. “I thought you would hate it…hate the disruptions, the responsibilities….the lack of autonomy.” She took a deep breath through her nose, trying to steady herself. “I at least thought we would be on the same page – loving him, hating the process. But you seem to love every second of it and I am so jealous that you do because I hate the crying and the exhaustion and the spit up in my hair!”

Sherlock leaned over and wiped the tears from her face, giving her a moment to just breathe. Sitting back in his seat he sighed.

“I’ve gotten good at functioning on very little sleep. In some ways, my past has completely prepared me to be a father to a new born.” Molly smiled through her tears. “I missed everything when Mina was born and I figured it was my turn to pick up the slack.” He looked down at their son. “You’re right, I don’t hate the process, but I wouldn’t say I enjoy it either…it is what it is.” Looking back up at her, he continued, “But Molly, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“When Mina was born, I struggled to go back to work but it was because I missed you not because I was depressed.” She huffed at herself, feeling ridiculous. “It was her and I against the world…I know I had an amazing support system, but from the minute I held her in my arms, I knew she was mine.”

“Are you struggling to feel connected with Greyson?” June asked.

“I feel...” She stopped and looked at her son in the seat. “The connection is there.” She smiled as she looked down at him. “I love him so much…he’s perfect.” Looking back up, she frowned again. “It just feels _different_ than what I felt when Mina was born.”

“In what ways?”

“I hated being away from her.” She sat back in her chair. “It took forever for me to be okay with her staying with anyone else. With Grey…” she looked back as him, a guilty expression, “I’m okay with time apart.”

“Are you okay with being away from Mina now?”

“Of course.” Molly nodded. “She spends the night with John and Mary or Mycroft frequently.”

“When you and Sherlock were separated, did Mina’s overnights with others decrease?”

“No,” she answered quickly. Sherlock shifted in his chair. “What?”

“I would generally inquire about Mina while with John and Mycroft…” he paused and she nodded for him to go on, “they both commented several times that they had seen less of her than they usually did.”

Molly thought back to those months. While John had had other things going on with Mary being in the hospital, several memories of Mycroft offering to take Mina for a night flashed through her mind but she had always came up with an excuse.

“You’re right…I did come up with reasons to keep Mina home.”

“You had a lot going on at the time…Sherlock was gone and Mary was in the hospital,” June pointed out. “Your other best friend was dealing with an infant while his wife lay unconscious.”

Molly nodded in agreement. “Of course I wanted her home…the people I cared most about where gone,” she explained. “What else was I going to do?”

“Is it fair to say that when Mina was born the person you cared most about was gone then as well?” June asked.

“Yes,” Molly whispered. “She reminded me so much of him then…she still does, but at the time she was all I had left of him.” She gave Sherlock a sad smile. “But,” she looked back at their therapist, “what does that have to do with Greyson?”

June gave her a small smile and nodded her head. “Everything.” She leaned forward. “Molly, I know you love your children…Mina is the light of your life and I could tell you meant it when you said Greyson was perfect…but, the person who holds your heart, you see him every day.”

Molly looked at Sherlock, confused. He smiled back at her, everything seeming to click in his brain.

“And…?”

June gave a small laugh. “You don’t have the same connection with Greyson that you did with Mina when she was born because you no longer need that kind of connection….and that’s okay – in fact, it’s good.” She gave Molly a minute to think about it. “Relationships change and shift…that’s what they are supposed to do.”

“You’re saying that I don’t need as strong a connection with Grey because Sherlock is here?” Molly asked.

“I’m saying I think that it could play a part in it…but I don’t live in your brain,” June reminded her. “Humans are complex beings,” she said with a shrug.

“Isn’t that a bad thing, though?” Molly asked. “Having a stronger connection to my partner than my child? I mean, I carried him for nine months.”

“You did carry him,” June smiled at her, “But you choose Sherlock.” Molly furrowed her brow, waiting for more of an explanation. “While you choose to have Greyson, you did not pick him out as a person. You did not get to meet him and decide if you liked his personality or his habits. He is who he is and he’s your son.” She nodded for June to go on. “You make a choice every day when you wake up to stay with Sherlock. More than anyone, you two know how powerful that choice is and how much work it is, but you still choose it every time.” She paused, giving Molly a moment to think. “Willamina and Greyson will eventually grow up and make their own paths in this world. They will have careers and their own partners. They will live lives that may involve you, but will no longer revolve around you.”

“Your path,” Sherlock said as he took her hand again, “is my path. For the rest of my life.”

Molly closed her eyes as she let every degrading comment she had said to herself over the last couple of months flood into her mind.

“So,” she opened her eyes, avoiding Sherlock’s gaze, “I’m not a bad mum?”

“You are an amazing mother to our children,” Sherlock said before June could step in. “Never doubt that.”

* * *

The light was dim in the nursery as Molly fed Greyson. She could hear Sherlock’s low voice from the next room reading Mina a bedtime story and listened in contentment. These moments were the ones that she wanted to last forever. Her little family, safe and happy. It was perfect.

“Hey,” Sherlock stepped into the doorway.

“Hi.” She smiled. “She asleep?” He nodded. “Good…and I think this one is just about ready for bed as well.” She readjusted him and wiped the milk away from his mouth. Pausing for a moment, she studied his face. “He is beautiful,” she whispered tracing over his nose as she realized just how much she loved seeing her own features in his face.

“Just like his mother.” He walked over and ran his finger down the bridge of her nose. “You are an amazing mother; I hope one day you believe that.” Scooping Grey out of her arms he quickly finished getting him ready and laid him in his cot.

She watched him take care of their son with new eyes tonight, able to enjoy it instead of envy it.

“I hope you know that I’m glad you’re good with him,” she said as he turned back to her. In the dim light she saw him furrow his brow as he walked towards her. Taking her hand in his, he crouched down in front of her.

“I didn’t get to say this during session, but I want you to know that you’re not the only one who has struggled with this transition.” A look of surprise crossed her face. “There were nights when he was screaming that all I wanted to do was escape. Most of the time simply reminding myself of what that would do to you is enough for me to push past the urge but there were times that I had to call my therapist to talk through it.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked quietly.

“Because…I’m _Sherlock Holmes_ ,” he said in a mocking tone, a smile stretching across his face for a moment. “I didn’t want you to worry,” he said with a sigh.

She leaned forward and kissed him gently.

“Apparently June is going to be stuck with us for a little while longer, huh?” She smirked.

“ _Apparently._ ”


	18. Chapter 18

_Baker Street 630 – S_

_Kathy can only watch the kids till 5 tonight – M_

_Oliver and Renee are meeting her at the house – S_

_They didn’t move here just to be our personal babysitters – M_

_I told them it was my birthday present – S_

_You really want to celebrate your birthday at Baker Street? - M_

_Yes – S_

_630 – S_

Molly stood at the bottom of the stairs, cursing herself for hesitating. All of the moments of when she had been here before flooded through her mind. The night she had come looking for answers, the day she had called him a junkie, and a year ago when she thought it would be the last time they were together. She hadn’t been back since. The guilt and shame she felt about those days were still overwhelming at times but they were working on it.

Snapping out of her head she noticed a note was tapped to the banister, Sherlock’s writing scrawled across it.

_Stop over thinking  
It’s my birthday_

She shook her head, smiling at how well he knew her. Tucking the note in her bag she hurried up the stairs. Upon opening the door she was surprised at how clean the flat was. She knew that John had been working on organizing it as they had decided to make it their official location, but she had not expected Sherlock to allow for the cleanliness.

“Sherlock?” she called as she hung up her coat.

“Hey.” He rounded the corner with a wine glass and handed it to her, kissing her cheek.

“Thank you, but shouldn’t I be spoiling you, birthday boy?” she asked with a cheeky smile.

“Mhmm, later….for now,” he reached over and grabbed his violin, “let me spoil you.” He gestured for her to sit. “I have a new piece that I want you to hear.”

“For me?” she asked as she sat.

“Writing this was helpful as I tried to organize my thoughts about everything going on in therapy.” He ran the bow over the strings, the instrument humming as he did so. “It’s more _about_ you than for you.”

As he began to play, the music drifted over her making her forget any feelings of guilt or shame that were lingering in the back of her mind.

“It was beautiful, Sherlock,” she said wiping a tear away when he had finished playing.

“I’m glad you liked it.” He sat down his violin and hit a button on his laptop; his prerecorded pieces started playing in the background. “Come here,” he said as he held his hand out. Setting down her glass she allowed him to pull her to her feet.

“Dancing?” She was again surprised as he wrapped his arm around her and started swaying to the music. “Are you perhaps trying to seduce me?” she asked with a giggle. Shaking his head, he smiled at her before placing a soft kiss to her lips. “I feel like this should be my birthday, not yours.”

They stayed quiet as they slowly moved around the living room, holding tight to each other. Leaning her head down to rest on his chest, she could hear how quickly his heart was beating.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked, lifting her head.

“Of course,” he attempted to reassure her. She reached her hands up to feel his forehead and cheeks, but he was no warmer than usual. “I feel good.” 

“Just making sure,” she said as she slid her hands down his neck and chest. She halted her movements when she realized it was gone. “Where’s my ring?” she whispered, running her hand over his chest again; the chain holding her engagement ring was not there.

“Come here.” He guided her over to the chair and helped her sit down as he knelt in front of her. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about everything that you have said to me here, in this room...the good and the bad.” She swallowed hard, the guilt and shame threatening to swim back in again. “I’ve also spent a lot of time thinking about everything that I have done to make you say those things….I once said to you that I wanted to be better. I had no clue then what it would take but I’m working on it now. You have given me a reason to be better.” Reaching into his pocket he pulled out her ring box. “I’m not perfect, but neither are you and while I could list everything that I adore about you, that is the thing that I love the most.” 

Tears were streaming down her face as she looked at him. Of everything she had been anticipating for tonight, this had not been it.

“Before you say anything else,” she interrupted, “I need to say this…I never expected you.” She placed a hand on his cheek. “What I had imagined for my life never came close to this…if someone had told me that I would love someone, care for someone, like I do for you, like I crave you, I wouldn’t have been able to believe them.” She rubbed her thumb across his lips. “Sherlock Holmes, what I feel for you…this is a once in a life time thing and I don’t want to miss a second of it again.”

“Molly Hooper,” he smiled before opening the box, “will you marry me?”

“Yes, of course, yes!” She held her hand out and waited as he slipped the ring on her finger. A feeling of completeness washed over her skin as the band settled into place. “I love you more than anything,” she said cupping his face with her hands.

* * *

**Epilogue**

The air was warm as the workers set up chairs. The wild flowers in the garden were in bloom as the tables were set. And the birds were singing as the tent was raised.

Looking out the window as they got ready, she was delighted she had convinced him to wait until spring to have it here at his parents. She found she couldn’t keep the smile off her face as Mina spun in her dress, Rosie following suit. She giggled as Mary struggled to zip her dress, Renee having to help her close it over her round belly as she was only a couple weeks away from her due date. She felt her heart melt when John brought Greyson in to show off his adorable outfit.

When Mycroft stood waiting for her, she couldn’t stop the tears that sprang to her eyes. She reassured him that the only reason she hadn’t asked him was because she hadn’t wanted to make him feel uncomfortable. In traditional Mycroft fashion, he rolled his eyes, assured her that he never did anything that he did not want to do, and offered her his arm so he could walk her down the aisle.

Then there he was. After all this time she still had a hard time believing that he was hers. That he stood, rooted in place, as she walked towards him, a brilliant smile on his face because he wanted her too. Placing her hand in his steadied her and reminded her that her life was better than any dream she could have ever dreamt.

“Molly, I used to have trouble seeing past myself. I focused on things that did not matter. You changed that for me. One moment, one impulsive move, and you gave me a whole new life. You have given me a life that is worth living, one that I did not know was possible before you…I give you this ring as a reminder that I will choose to love you every day, that I will walk the path beside you, and that you will always be my favorite weakness.”

“Sherlock, you have always been special to me. Since the moment I met you, I knew I wanted you in my life and would have never wished that it could have turned out this way. The way you make me feel is honestly indescribable…I give you this ring as a reminder that I choose you, that I will never give up on us, and that I want to be with you for every day of the rest of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at then end! Thank you so much for reading and going on this journey! I hope you enjoyed it because I LOVED writing it.


End file.
